Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Spinsterella Goes Out With Someone - Part 2

... then six weeks later I broke up with him.

Why? Well, why not? I just didn't like him that much.

We started off well - we went on the dinner and were falling over ourselves talking to one another, and we went out drinking a couple of days later, and we had sex, which was good if not awesome and we generally rubbed along together very well indeed over the next few weeks.

So he was very puzzled and pissed off when I dumped him. Especially seeing as I had no real reason.

I was pretty honest with him. I told him that I'm not a 'relationship person', our lifestyles are wildly incompatible, that there just wasn't enough there. And although things were going well now that I'd inevitably end up breaking up with him after three or four months which would have been even worse. That I needed time to be alone. That I was stressed out to fuck with work and I just didn't have time to go out with someone.

All true.

I couldn't quite say all the little ultra-honest things though. That he had turned out to be not quite as intelligent or interesting as I'd first thought. That he could do with brushing his teeth a bit more often. That his house depressed me. That I'm more socially important than him and I'm not comfortable with the balance swinging that way. That it doesn't matter how many guitars he has, he still doesn't have enough (any) books.

And I certainly didn't tell him that I'd done something Id never done before in my 32 years, and snogged someone else behind his back.

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  • well -- sounds like work's picked up -- perhaps you'd better tell us about that. Once you're done with the joy of cheating, that is...

    By Anonymous zebra, at 9:11 PM  

  • That's fair enough. Honesty's overrated.

    By Blogger Hannah, at 10:51 PM  

  • HEH yes... the classic sign! If you're tempted that soon, it just isn't on fire. Not enough.

    By Blogger Valerie, at 6:17 AM  

  • ah well.

    good for you for not dragging it out.

    By Anonymous louche, at 7:10 AM  

  • what do you mean whgen you write - 'more socially important than him'?

    i dont get it.

    By Blogger Kirses, at 11:36 AM  

  • @Kirses:

    I was a bit stymied by that rather out of character announcement form The Spinster myself.

    Then I looked it up and discovered that our beloved scribe has only gone and been made Ministeress for the Unwed in the latest of Gordon's evermore desperate Cabinet reshuffles.

    So there's an innocent explanation for her suddenly going all snobby on us after all ...



    By Blogger Robert Swipe, at 1:01 PM  

  • So he was pleading, saying he'd got seven guitars?

    "But I've got SEVEN guitars!"

    By Blogger Geoff, at 1:31 PM  

  • 'More socially important'?


    I'll, uh, get the limo round, M'Lady.

    By Anonymous wyndham, at 2:13 PM  

  • Oooh, you ARE awful!

    By Blogger Arabella, at 3:59 PM  

  • That's a Dick Emery moment, by the way. Not me being mean.

    By Blogger Arabella, at 4:00 PM  

  • No, you're not awful, you're very cool. I really hate when people have a snog, or sex, or whatever with someone else then continue with their relationship, thinking everything is ok. I'm sure it must happen that sometimes you can be in love with two people at once, but the majority of people are just bored or fucked off with their partner. So dump them! Especially if he didn't have any books. What a loser.

    By Anonymous belladona, at 6:38 PM  

  • "And I certainly didn't tell him that I'd done something Id never done before in my 32 years, and snogged someone else behind his back."

    Well I wasn't expecting that!

    How many guitars did he own?

    By Blogger Billy, at 6:41 PM  

  • oh, the guitars to books ratio; thats a dealbreaker right there. well done!

    and you got some! YAAAAAAY!

    By Blogger First Nations, at 8:12 PM  

  • that bears saying again, in fact:


    By Blogger First Nations, at 8:14 PM  

  • whew! anyone got a smoke?

    By Blogger First Nations, at 8:14 PM  

  • People with no books freak me out as well. Not many, that I can cope with, although it's not my choice. But no books whatsoever implies a conscious rejection of... of... well, a huge chunk of life, to be honest.

    The depressing house and the manky teeth and the guitars and the snog, yeah, whatever...

    By Blogger Tim Footman, at 1:34 AM  

  • Too, too bad darling. Never mind. Far better cocoa & a wank than a bore and his 'guitars'.

    By Anonymous Dowager, at 8:39 AM  

  • He has more guitars than books?


    By Blogger Istvanski, at 11:29 AM  

  • Luckily for me, Billy has lots of books :) (and I've been finding him a few more) "More socially important" sounds like snobbery though. To be honest, I wonder if any guy can match up to your expectations if "social importance" is such a huge issue.

    By Blogger llewtrah, at 12:22 PM  

  • Also wondering about "socially more important", but with you all the way on the no books thing.

    By Blogger Timorous Beastie, at 2:12 PM  

  • echo TB.

    By Blogger Chaucer's Bitch, at 2:48 PM  

  • Gosh what a lot of comments! Hello everybody.

    I was having one of my occasional snobby-old-witch moments there. Don't worry, it's passed, normal scumbag status has been restored.

    I went to the hairdresser this afternoon in my painting clothes and I hadn't even brushed my teeth or washed my face. I was so cheap-looking that they didn't even try to chat to me. And it ain't a posh hairdresser - £13.50.

    By Blogger Spinsterella, at 5:39 PM  

  • I totally get the 'socially more important' thing and it's not snobbery. Can't really talk for Spin (even though I am she 15 years later - sorta) but what I take that to indicate is a general feeling of low self esteem (which must therefore make him REALLY crap) plus the fact/feeling that dating is such a fucking hassle it really needs to be with someone who can make your life overall more interesting and exciting, not less.

    By Blogger GreatSheElephant, at 11:31 AM  

  • Ooh, just found your blog and I'm liking it a lot.

    By Blogger red, at 10:20 PM  

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