Thursday, March 15, 2007

Spurious Reasons for Dumping Blokes

Some examples:

2004 - I didn't like the way he walked. It just...annoyed me. It's impossible to describe how he walked - but it was just slightly spoddy.

2002 - He told me that that evening he had eaten tinned potatoes.

1993 - I just couldn't be arsed


  • Tinned potatoes are so wrong.

    By Blogger violetforthemoment, at 8:31 PM  

  • Tinned potatoes have nothing on the horror that is tinned macaroni cheese.

    By Blogger Billy, at 8:47 PM  

  • "spoddy"

    now there's a word i ain't heard since about 1991

    (with you on the tinned taters, though - UGH)

    By Blogger Urban Chick, at 10:41 PM  

  • no. 1 is completely legit. my first boyf had the most freakish walk. i didn't dump him for it, but if i had it would have saved me a lot of trouble later on.

    i didn't even know you couuld buy tinned potatoes. that sounds foul!

    By Blogger Chaucer's Bitch, at 10:46 PM  

  • I dumped a girl for being a crap kisser. She sort of pecked, and made strange noises at the same time.

    By Blogger James, at 11:39 PM  

  • But .. given the recent dearth, would you dump them now?

    Tinned spuds - an experiment that will never be repeated.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:57 PM  

  • i understand and support 1
    i understand but don't support 3
    i do not know what to say about 2, but then i've never tried tinned potatoes
    yet, i doubt tinned potatoes are any worse than tinned baked beans, or tinned soup, or tinned macaroni cheese...
    hum... yeah, 2 sounds kind of wrong to me

    By Anonymous mar, at 1:12 AM  

  • I just like the word "spurious". Bravo.

    I've got your back on #1 and #3.

    By Blogger Melissa, at 4:49 AM  

  • I quite like tinned potatoes.

    By Blogger patroclus, at 10:07 AM  

  • I think I'd better come clean and admit that I've eaten tinned potatoes. It's all we could get our hands on during the war!

    James - were you dating a parrot??

    By Blogger Betty, at 10:49 AM  

  • I can imagine using tinned potatoes for something that needed potato content like fishcakes

    By Blogger GreatSheElephant, at 11:16 AM  

  • GreatSheElephant: But why wouldn't you just use normal potatoes?

    I endorse all three. In this house, we've dumped men for poor spelling in text messages...

    By Blogger Hannah, at 12:20 PM  

  • Because I'd have to peel them and that is not something I'm able to do without slicing my hands to ribbons.

    I'd like to play this but mostly I'm the one that gets dumped. Apart from my husband that is but I'm not going into that. I suppose I did dump my first boyfriend for a whole variety of reasons but they didn't seem spurious.

    By Blogger GreatSheElephant, at 2:27 PM  

  • Betty opens floodgates: I, too have eaten tinned spuds. An emergency 'salad'.

    By Blogger Arabella, at 2:55 PM  

  • One was too spoddy & one was too spuddy?

    By Blogger Murph, at 3:09 PM  

  • betty - no, a quantity surveyor I think

    By Blogger James, at 12:31 AM  

  • I dumped someone because he was too square and wore high-waister jeans c.1982

    Then I packed another one for realising that he didn't have any books and didn't really read

    Around the same time I packed another one because he didn't kiss very well. I just told him that I didn't think it was a good idea that we go out together anymore (I was 17!) and he cried, sobbed even. It was awful.

    I've been packed lots mainly because I seemed to spend most of my 20's and 30's going out with lying wankers!

    By Blogger rockmother, at 10:46 AM  

  • i wish i had packed the one who walked like a diapered goose; he turned out to be a drug addict.

    you see what spoddy walking leads to?

    By Blogger First Nations, at 5:32 PM  

  • Did you know that you can get tinned roast chicken and tinned cheese too? Soooo disgusting.

    By Blogger rockmother, at 7:02 PM  

  • tinned cheese????


    By Blogger ziggi, at 2:54 PM  

  • Good Gravy Marie this Dial-up shite is fucking PAINFUL.


    Anon - I would ahve dumped them QUICKER.

    Anyhow - both 1. and 2. have been mentioned before on these very pages...

    3. is every bloke I ever went out with between the age of 14 aand about 20, when mankind started exacting his revenge (ie I actually got dumped occasionally too).

    By Blogger Spinsterella, at 9:09 PM  

  • So Spinny,

    have you ever dumped someone for writing a classic pop song about you?

    Now that'd make the tinned taters seem positively alluring, wouldn't it?

    If it's any consolation, I think I'm about to be dumped for blogging too much.

    Funny old world, isn't it?

    L.U.V. on ya,


    btw - is it just me, or do you lot synchronise your t. o' the m's? I wouldn't blame you, but I can't for the life of me think why it should affect Billy too...

    btw2 - anyone heard from Realdoc? She hasn't done a Shipman, has she?

    By Blogger Robert Swipe, at 10:06 PM  

  • ...or, as we're on the crap tinned/jarred food, a Shipham's...

    By Blogger Robert Swipe, at 10:07 PM  

  • Tinned potatoes I think come from an entirely different vegetable but then we are rather religious about our potatoes here.

    By Blogger realdoc, at 3:06 PM  

  • As an Irish gal I obviously endorse any potato eating but even I would have to draw the line at tinned.

    By Blogger Flirty Something, at 5:28 PM  

  • I completely respect you for the spurious dumping scenarios.

    my most 'whimsical' dumpings - for having no sense of road geography ie very bad at directions. how many times do you want to say 'right at the lights' ??? oh yes and I too have dumped on realisation that the lack of books didn't mean 'free' or 'artistic'...

    tinned potatoes, completely fair play

    By Anonymous RevolveWire, at 5:35 PM  

  • i love tinned potatoes, me.

    i dumped a boy when i was thirteen becuase he ate a tuna sandwich in front of me and i couldn't bear the thought of him trying to kiss me with his fishy mouth.

    he used to follow my mum round the shops at lunchtime and cry at her.

    he was in the sixth form then. he's probably in an institution now.

    By Blogger surly girl, at 7:09 PM  

  • Spin - I think you need to go to Bob's sharpish - :-O (that's a picture of my jaw gaping open)

    By Blogger rockmother, at 8:40 PM  

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