Spinsterella

Friday, December 29, 2006

Spinsterella's Review of the Year

Most Cringeworthy Accidental Voyeurism – I was at a gig. Standing right in front of me was a man I sort-of know from work. He was on a blind internet date that was clearly going quite badly.

Weirdest Man-behaviour – The bloke who asked me out on email then stopped speaking to me for several weeks. I can’t link to that post though because I had included the text of his email (of course) and I got totally paranoid that he had found my blog, so I deleted the post ages ago. (Runner-up – the one who forget to tell me about his girlfriend)

Arse of the Year and Album of the Year – Double whammy for the lovely drunken Ed Harcourt.

Single of the Year – "From Paris to Berlin, la la la disco la la la, my heart is something for love, something for love…" Come on. It’s great!

Disappointment of the year – Eamonn from Brakes naked from the waist down*. Underwhelming.

Festival Quote of the Year – "I fucking hate the Japanese. Did you know that in Japan they have a helpline for mothers who have been fellating their sons. Just how fucked up does a country to be to need a dedicated phone line for that?" AA Gill. **

Sexual Encounter of the Year. One snog. That’s it. 1/10. Must try harder.

Ultimate Spinster Moment of the Year – The cottage a friend had booked for his birthday weekend didn’t have quite enough beds for everyone, so he ‘volunteered’ me and his friend Em to camp. In November. He actually said, "I didn’t think you’d mind because you’re single". When I say I’ve got a tough skin I don’t mean literally.

***********************

Now, I suppose I could also fit a few New Year Resolutions in here as well. Except I don’t ever do resolutions because they are stupid, doomed to failure, and have no effect other than making you feel utterly miserable for the whole of January.

But…

As you know I’m already reading this Very Big Book, and to be honest I’m struggling already and I’m only on page 63. So I thought I’d also join in this Da Vinci Experiment which is being MC'd by Mr Tim Footman. Same same but different. A much less challenging tome, I’m sure you’d agree, but quite possibly more tortuous…

*He was on stage, all right?

** *Might* (I know, I know. I'm ashamed, believe me, I am. But in the interests of full disclosure I felt I had to confess.)

14 Comments:

  • Excellent Spinny. I think I might have had a little sob if the Spinster moment had happened to me.

    Happy New Year and best of luck with improving the Sexual Encounters score in 2007.

    By Anonymous looby, at 7:44 PM  

  • "A nice bit of low-level lip-biting as well as the usual just-giving-you-a-hint-what-I can-do-with-my-tongue-action" sounds like a very nice kiss. Wishing you more of those in the new year.

    By Blogger Melissa, at 8:47 PM  

  • the festival quote made me accidentally swallow a bunch of air and now i have to burp but i can't.
    FELLAT-nevermind.
    ew.
    just ew.
    that is all.

    By Blogger First Nations, at 12:43 AM  

  • ONE snog? Christ, you did better than me.

    Any idea where LC has disappeared to?

    By Blogger the whales, at 8:46 AM  

  • Those two statements aren't related by the way!

    Just wondering whether LC is all right, given what has happened to him recently.

    By Blogger the whales, at 8:47 AM  

  • LC's site seems to be taken over by a load of spam.

    Thanks for quoting that kiss melissa - that does sound lovely!

    Sorry Spinny - taking over your comments!

    By Anonymous looby, at 12:02 PM  

  • "The cottage a friend had booked for his birthday weekend didn’t have quite enough beds for everyone, so he ‘volunteered’ me and his friend Em to camp. In November. He actually said, "I didn’t think you’d mind because you’re single". "

    Please tell me that person is not your friend any more.

    Jesus...

    By Blogger Bowleserised, at 1:10 PM  

  • hmm, well I also had only one snog this year and it was repellent - the twerp who pulled me off the seat at the opera. Still, there are about 36 hours still to go but seeing as I´m fatter and more pasty than every other woman in Argentina I don´t rate my chances. First year of total celibacy since 1997. Mind you, I was married then.

    By Blogger GreatSheElephant, at 1:57 PM  

  • Yes celibate and single is bad but celibate and married is probably worse.

    By Blogger realdoc, at 8:59 PM  

  • No, celibate and married at least means you have someone around (now and then...when you least want it...but fortunately when you *do* want it)...but celibate and single usually means being on your own...and never having anyone around...and that's worse

    By Anonymous the-whales, at 10:39 PM  

  • Good point GSE - I've still got 25 hours to go - Watch This Space!

    I'm worried about lc too. Hopefully he'll be back sooner or later.

    By Blogger Spinsterella, at 10:59 PM  

  • Blimey, apologies for that. Nearly got a bit maudlin there. Ignore me!

    By Blogger the whales, at 8:18 AM  

  • Hello. Had a bit of a "long dark midnight of the soul" thing going on for a few days, but I'm back now.

    By Blogger LC, at 12:25 AM  

  • better luck in '07, hun. when i think about everything that happened to me in the past 12 months, it boggles my mind. no reason the same can't happen for you. xxx

    By Blogger Chaucer's Bitch, at 1:39 PM  

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