Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Will Self (Again) Part II

Sorry, I got a bit sidetracked there. What I meant to say was something more like:

Will Self’s not exactly a looker in the conventional sense, is he?

Not like Brad (*wouldn’t*) Pitt or George (*yawn*) Clooney. But millions and millions of women find him extremely sexy.

The range of men who are considered to be attractive runs from fat-lipped lanky streak of piss Richard Ashcroft to potato-faced chubster Shane Richie. There are even women, lots of them I’m told, who think Vernon Kaye’s hot.

But women don’t have the same scope. I can’t think of a single female celeb with, shall we say, an idiosyncratic appearance, who is widely fancied.

I’ve always thought Kylie was a bit of an odd one – the big carrot-munching teeth, the boogley eyes, the memories of Charlene - but still, she’s hardly a moose.

Anyone else?


  • kylie's also a dwarf.

    julia roberts? Every time I look at her all I see is that huge mouth.

    I always fancied dawn french. But she's really not bad looking.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:38 PM  

  • If I were a fella I'd make a bee line for Kathy Burke.
    I know two fellas who fancy Lucy Mangan from The Guardian.

    By Blogger Lardy Big Bot, at 2:09 PM  

  • I always loved the term "jolie-laide" but I can't think of anyone just now. Good question, Spin. I'll go dredge something out of my brain.

    Then again, I find Jordan and Jodie Marsh (plus make up plus outfits plus boobs) hideously munterish, but supposedly thousands fancy them.

    That's not really what you're after though, is it?

    By Blogger Bowleserised, at 4:48 PM  

  • This is just guesswork, but I think a lot of blokes tend to say that they fancy the usual big knockered blonde girls in front of their friends just so they don't seem a bit strange, but secretly have more diverse tastes in women.

    By Blogger Betty, at 4:56 PM  

  • Kylie **would**

    Natalie Imbruglia *would* a bit odd looking though I have to admit!

    No I am not entirely devoted to stumpy antipodeans but these two..well. No bulging veins I am afraid.

    By Blogger toomuchgrief, at 5:31 PM  

  • As a hetrosexual female
    Natlie Imruggilliaaa - would
    Shania Twineropestrring - would
    Kylie - Only if the above were unavailable

    Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that guff!
    (Just waiting for someone to see my 'inner' beauty and bung me atop one of those pedestal thingies people keep telling me about!)

    By Blogger Jools, at 5:40 PM  

  • Ah yes well done anon - Julia Roberts is another slightly off-kilter Great Beauty.

    Only very slightly off kilter, mind.

    That Lucy Mangan's also not bad looking at all, albeit in a gerbilesque sort of way.

    jolie-laide - now there's a good new-word. I'm hoping it's pronounced Jolly Laid?

    By Blogger Spinsterella, at 6:14 PM  

  • Anna Ford, a newsreader from when most of you were in nappies was a bit weird looking and was, I think, fancied by some.
    A housemate of mine once said *would* when Fatima Whitbread came on the telly but he was very drunk and had not had sex for a considerable length of time.

    By Blogger realdoc, at 6:21 PM  

  • Betty tells me that Barbara Stanwyck is an odd choice of mine.

    By Blogger Geoff, at 8:12 PM  

  • *cough* barbara streisand? I mean, I *hear* she was often thought of as a beauty. Beats me. she's like the j=lo of the 70s, it seems.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:27 PM  

  • Not sure if she counts towards your survey but Edwina Currie *would*. Never understood the Kylie thing - she's too Nice.

    By Blogger Patrick Dodds, at 8:39 PM  

  • Maggie Gyllenhaal and Juliette Lewis - but I think they both have that sexy thing going on (ie: they would do unspeakable things in the bedroom). Also Drew Barrymore.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:57 PM  

  • Vernon Kay - eurgh. I have to hide behind the sofa whenever he's on. Ugh.

    By Blogger patroclus, at 9:10 PM  

  • I'm going to throw out
    Merryl Streep
    Gena Davis
    Annette Benning and
    Judy Dench
    as unconventional *woulds*

    Can i get an "amen?"

    By Blogger Chaucer's Bitch, at 9:15 PM  

  • Uma Thurman. Her face doesn't add up.

    With you on Brad *wouldn't* Pitt, however, Vince Vaughan - *would*.

    By Blogger Kellycat, at 7:38 AM  

  • Natalie Imbruglia is gorgeous, and not unconventionally so, unless conventional just means 'blond, big tits'.

    Barbara Stanwyck is also beautiful, and she has the whole femme fatale thing going for her.

    lots of guys fancy Angelina Jolie, but to me she looks a bit of a donkey with big lips.

    my choice for unconventional-ish but fit is Zooey Deschanel.

    By Anonymous riddledwiththepox, at 8:59 AM  

  • probably a bit controversial but I've never got Kate Mosss...I've always thought her eyes are really far apart and she looks like a frog. millions across the world disagree with me of course, but I've never seen what all the fuss is about...(also just realised I've given an opposite example of what you asked for - sorry!)

    By Blogger goroznegi, at 10:18 AM  

  • Oh, well done everyone, that's good going.

    So I have been proven well and truly wrong - there are indeed loads of slightly odd-looking women who are seen as being beautiful.

    I'd like to add Nicole Kidman.

    And Liv Tyler.

    By Blogger Spinsterella, at 11:42 AM  

  • liv tyler... *drools*

    Alongside winona ryder and sarah polley, one of the few actresses I will watch even in a truly shite film just to see her.

    Oh, and Sarah Polley as another slightly strange looking beautiful girl. One of my friends once said she looked like a frightened rat.

    By Anonymous riddledwiththepox, at 2:11 PM  

  • I would.

    Also: Boris Johnson.

    Oh yes.

    By Anonymous Jack, at 4:18 PM  

  • Charlize Theron tokally mings, ihmo.

    She looked better in the film where she played the handsome serial killer..

    By Blogger Robert A. Swipe, at 4:22 PM  

  • I understand Maggie nee Roberts was fancied by some. Not me, you understand, and she is a bit past it now.

    Anna Ford and Meryl Streep are on my *would* list

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:11 PM  

  • Meryl Streep *couldn't*... too worthy. But Sigourney Weaver in Aliens, the second film with, in fact, the shaved head and the bulging veins so desired of Spins, *would* (long arms too).

    By Blogger toomuchgrief, at 11:42 PM  

  • Christina Ricci - dwarf with big alien head - bloody would.

    Chloe Sevigny - dopy eyes - big nose - yes please.

    Beatrice Dalle - big watermelon mouth - do you need to ask?

    By Blogger Tim Footman, at 2:28 AM  

  • Well, personally I have seriously got the hots for Victoria Wood, Kathy Burke, Sandra Bernhardt, Rosanne Barr... oh, and loads others I can't think of off the top of my head.

    But I might not have company.

    By Blogger Clare, at 11:11 AM  

  • And yes, it's not fair. Men are given way more lassitude in the not-conventionally-attractive-but-still-eminently-fuckable stakes. Tis not fair. At all.

    Then again, if you're an ugly woman at least you only get proper nice genuine men who don't care about appearances interested in you. Or bastards looking for someone to dominate and be eternally grateful. Hmmm. Haven't thought that one through.

    By Blogger Clare, at 11:13 AM  

  • Boris Johnson is a woman?

    By Blogger GreatSheElephant, at 12:24 PM  

  • Lassie

    By Blogger The Murphmeister, at 1:22 PM  

  • Björk. Or maybe that's just me.

    By Blogger Annie Rhiannon, at 3:11 PM  

  • Will Self reminds me of Jimmy Nail in some ways. Carry on.

    By Blogger dh, at 9:53 PM  

  • Never have understood the angelina jolie thing!! She looks like she could suck the life out of you!! Ah, ok, so now I get the angelina jolie thing!

    By Blogger ordinary girl, at 12:40 PM  

  • I'm saying Lisa Tarbuck to myself in the same voice Homer uses for 'doughnuts'

    By Anonymous Mee, at 1:10 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home