Thursday, November 23, 2006

Ex Story 14

We were out for dinner. It wasn’t a proper posh restaurant, it was the sort of place where you could just come in and have a few drinks as well. But still, it was a rare treat and we were having a lovely time. On his recommendation I’d ordered halloumi. I’d never heard of it before but he reckoned I’d like it.

A girl walked past, recognised The Ex, and came over to talk to us. Now he had lived in town for longer than me and worked in a popular bar so he knew quite a lot of people.

But I knew straightaway that something must have gone on between him and this girl. It was her false bonhomie (Him: what have you been up to? Her: Oh, going out loads and just getting pissed and partying all the time!) and the way she looked at me, checking me out.

When she was out of earshot he looked at me shamefacedly and said: "We slept together."
I was horrified. She was a moose. Bit overweight, too much make-up, a bit, well, rough.

As he told me the story I started to see him in a different light.

"I got to know her because she came into the bar sometimes and we arranged to go out for a few drinks one night. But she ended up getting really, really pissed, it was embarrassing. We were in a bar in town when we ran into some people I knew. But she was pissed and she was really rude to them, really aggressive, for no reason."

So, nightmare date, what’s a lad to do? He took her home and fucked her.

I was only 21 and The Ex had been really reserved with me when we first got together, so I couldn’t imagine him just fucking some minger.

It got worse.

"A few weeks later my best mate and a couple of his friends were in the bar, so I went and joined them on my break. She came in, pissed, and sat at the same table as us. She was trying to interrupt our conversation and I was just trying my best to ignore her. Then she announced to everyone: ‘He slept with me, you know.’"

Ex was horrified at her behaviour, but I was pretty shocked at his.

It’s such a cliché that men will sleepwith an unattractive girl, then ignore her. The Ex was so straight and moralistic that I couldn’t imagine him doing such a thing. I was so young that I still had that irrational hatred of all ex-girlfriends/shagpieces/women who fancied him.

But this girl? I kind of felt for her.

(This story kind of carries on from, although certainly doesn't answer, GSE's comment on the last post. I don't get it either.)


  • Oh, that's just not nice. Urgh. Anyway, I didn't think hating your boyfriend's exes was something you could grow out of... maybe I will, but I certainly haven't yet.

    By Blogger Loganoc, at 10:51 AM  

  • Glad to have been of inspiration. Now excuse me, I appear to be channelling Andrea Dworkin, all of a sudden.

    By Blogger GreatSheElephant, at 12:07 PM  

  • I'm not so sure that she was rude to his friends for no reason. Maybe they were talking amongst themselves and ignoring her.

    By Blogger Geoff, at 1:36 PM  

  • The male mind is totally beyond me I'm afraid.

    By Blogger realdoc, at 2:31 PM  

  • I had to google halloumi.

    People can be very nobby at times. How old was your ex when this happend? Maybe we can forgive him the general nobbiness of youth.

    By Blogger Gary James, at 3:24 PM  

  • this is becoming a whole "men are from mars, women from venus" thing. C'mon. So "men" aren't perfect; neither are "women". But wouldn't it just be better to say "jaysus I've met some awful losers in my time!". Frankly I don't understand spinny's veinage thing (actually I think it's quite endearing, but don't tell anyone), but I don't go around saying, "bloody hell, are all women into veins?"

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:16 PM  

  • is halloumi cheese? or did i dream that?

    christ, i always bring something valid to the discussion, don't i?

    *shoots self*

    By Blogger surly girl, at 8:47 PM  

  • I don't hate my boyfriend's exes. I just never wish to speak of them. Ever.

    How was the halloumi, incidentally? I'm too scared to try it in case my arteries just fur up on the spot.

    By Blogger violetforthemoment, at 12:13 AM  

  • Delia has a recipe for fried halloumi with capers, gherkins etc, very yummy.

    By Blogger realdoc, at 10:51 AM  

  • It seems to be a virgin and whore phenomenon... You were the young pure thing he had to treat with respect, whereas by her willingness to shag him without any form of relationship security then she becomes the whore. This meant (in his mind) he doesnt have to treat her with any form of respect. His attitude about it to you is more about thinking you share this archaic belief...
    (Cough)... In my humble opinion...

    But even if it's not so, either way he sounds a bit of a misogynistic pig - and I think I have dated (like so many other women) a carbon copy of him...

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:22 PM  

  • Mmm, grilled halloumi on couscous with cherry tomato and shallot salsa.

    I've never really known any blokes like this. On the other hand, I've never really understood women. I think I might be from Mars as well.

    By Blogger patroclus, at 5:03 PM  

  • Halloumi is awesome. It's cheese, but it's really meaty and chewey and doensn't melt so you can chuck it in stir-fries.

    Best cheese ever.

    PS - Anon - the second one - I don't think he would have thought of me as terribly pure. I'm a firm believer in putting out as soon as is physically possible. But I'm not a (total) moose.

    By Blogger Spinsterella, at 5:10 PM  

  • Sigh. Sometimes you just know why exes become exes.

    By Blogger Sassy Sundry, at 2:05 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home