Spinsterella

Thursday, October 26, 2006

The Hen Do Part Three - Things I Was Told

"You're too ambitious."*

"Your Ex was one of the best looking blokes I've ever seen."**

"I think you probably frighten a lot of men"***

***********************************

* Ambitious? Christ. I do hear 'picky' a lot, but 'ambitious'? Is brain, personality and not-fat really so much to ask?

** Interesting. I don't even think he's that good-looking.

*** Frighten men? Me? But I'm dead nice really....

16 Comments:

  • 1 and 3 could apply to me. No-one has ever said 2 about anyone I've dated

    By Blogger GreatSheElephant, at 8:58 PM  

  • i get that 'you frighten men' thing a lot - but i think if they are scared of wee me, the really they should just go out and get themselves a backbone...plus its scares off the eejits

    By Blogger Kirses, at 9:09 PM  

  • considering what I see everyday walking around married with kids, men seem to be pretty damn brave.....

    By Blogger First Nations, at 12:28 AM  

  • I am 52 and left my husband when I was around 30. We have no children although I did foster care teenagers with problems for about a decade after that. I have had a few relationships since then and one grand passion which I do not regret. However,for the whole of the time I have lived alone and I enjoy it in the main. What I would like and haven't quite given up on yet, is someone who lives nearby, comes over Saturday night and we go out and who stays for the cryptic crossword and breakfast Sundays, this person is intelligent, left wing , likes his own space and leaves me to enjoy mine but we have a committment and birthdays, special occasions and maybe even holidays are spent together.Oh, and as an added bonus, if I get sick this person turns up with what I need, makes me a cuppa, changes the sheets for me and then goes home...naturally, I would reciprocate. Is this asking too much? I am fussy though but I still think it's possible, I love reading your blog and a few others so thanks.

    By Anonymous Lyn, at 3:00 AM  

  • Lyn, you've managed to describe just what I've been unable to verbalise.

    By Blogger Who is this Dave?, at 9:15 AM  

  • I frighten men. this is unfortunate as it had the effect of leaving me utterly dateless for eight years. but the upside is that the few men who did become interested in me were exceptionally secure, stable, "together" men. being intimidating sort of weeds out the wussies, and you don't want them anyway.

    By Blogger Chaucer's Bitch, at 9:43 AM  

  • "You probably frighten a lot of men" is an expression usually used by women who are smugly in relationships which means you should be more giggly, flirty and a bit thick, because of course this is more "feminine" and makes you more "approachable". That's what men really want after all, apparently.

    It is bollocks.

    By Blogger Betty, at 9:49 AM  

  • Hear hear, Betty. I'm sick of all this reactionary nonsense about feisty, intelligent women 'frightening men'. It's rubbish.

    Also, what's supposed to be wrong with being ambitious?

    By Blogger patroclus, at 10:31 AM  

  • Quote 1 was a poorly disguised insult and the speaker deserved a smack in the mouth for such bad manners.
    Quote 2 is from someone who fancies your ex. More fool her, probably. And since when is this all about looks?
    Quote 3 is from someone who think you should put your weight on one hip, twirl your hair and laugh at all men's stupid jokes. Having said that, it might be that you've become unpractised at the art of flirting and THAT is what she meant. And it's the finest line between flirting and behaving like the brainless idiot I described above. BY frightening she might mean not that you scare the bejesus out of them, but that you seem so in control and confident that they think: no way would she be interested in someone like me. I'd be kicked to the kerb. Which might weed out the insecure ones, but then you're only left with the arrogant pricks.

    By Anonymous undercovercookie, at 10:32 AM  

  • Ambition is a deadly and unnecessary slur on anyone's character, let alone a woman's.

    I'll have what Lyn's having.

    By Blogger Wyndham, at 12:28 PM  

  • What lyn said.

    THe girl who said no. 1 and 3 has been with her fella since second year at uni. She's very happy, and I wouldn't say she was jealous, but I imagine she has the odd twinge of 'have I wasted my twenties?'...

    By Blogger Spinsterella, at 9:13 PM  

  • Ah, one thing I can't be accused of: wasting my twenties. Or, maybe I can. But not by being in a stable relationship.

    Statements one and three exceptionally rude. Deserve smack round head. Couldn't pass comment on 2 - possibility that speaker hasn't come across many very hot men?

    By Blogger Hannah, at 12:28 AM  

  • I've only ever been attracted to women who are a bit frightening. What's the point of committing your life to someone whose every move is predictable, whose overriding characteristic is that she does what she's told?

    I think there's a nasty little strain of males who could read The Handmaid's Tale and wonder what the fuss is.

    Unfortunately, a lot of them move to Thailand.

    By Blogger Tim Footman, at 6:59 AM  

  • I've had the 'you frighten men' quote thrown at me as well. Easy to scare aren't they?

    By Blogger realdoc, at 12:14 PM  

  • If I'm not frightened (only a little bit) I'm not interested.

    By Blogger Billy, at 6:40 PM  

  • Some horrid person once told me I'd never find anyone who would stay with me as I am too mad. I felt really crushed by that and often think about it in moments of confidence (*lack of) weakness.

    By Blogger rockmother, at 11:44 PM  

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