Sunday, August 13, 2006

That joke isn't funny anymore...

I've just been doing a bit of a spring-clean of my bedroom.

I had to throw my stash of condoms out becasue they were out of date.


  • I hadn't thought of that. I must get mine out of the safe to check(and how revealing is that!).

    By Blogger DavetheF, at 8:38 PM  

  • ooohhh dear. sadly i had to check the date on mine the other day...

    By Blogger Kirses, at 9:25 PM  

  • That is depressing.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:02 PM  

  • They go out of date?

    By Blogger hen, at 1:23 AM  

  • Oh deary. Can't you recycle them?

    By Blogger Molly Bloom, at 9:41 AM  

  • This could inspire a whole series of posts: Things to do with an out-of-date condom.

    By Blogger Billy, at 10:01 AM  

  • In the safe, Dave?

    Yes they do go out-of-date. After about, god, five-and-a-half years.

    By Blogger Spinsterella, at 10:23 AM  

  • This is pure speculation Spin, but given the infrequency of the old carnal wotsits, couldn't you just take a risk with the old RM?

    (...although if your luck in the contraception stakes is anything like your luck with the fellas....)

    And before anyone says anything - that's not a come on...(you wouldn't want mine within ten feet of you without a muffler on, believe me....And you'd probably rather I wore a trojan too...)

    By Blogger Robert A. Swipe, at 10:45 AM  

  • Sorry Spin:

    I clearly haven't been paying attention, have I?

    Very wise, I must say.

    By Blogger Robert A. Swipe, at 11:51 AM  

  • Things to do with an out of date condom
    1) stare at them tearfully, feeling that some how they are a terrible symbol of personal failure and lost oppourtunity. Drink a bottle of wine and blub into a teddy bear.

    2) Find a large deserted concrete area. Fill condom with aerosol spray (cheap hair spray). Tie end. attach to floor with small piece of masking tape. Splash with nail varnish remover then pour said remover in a squiggley and artistic trail from condom to safe distance. Light. You could adapt this to produce a multiple condom/domino explosion effect.

    By Anonymous Button, at 12:04 PM  

  • Oh dear Bob, I'd actually managed to forget about that little incident.

    Very out of character (we'd been on a cocktail of Red Stripe followed by home-made cocktails and general filth).

    Ah, those were the days...

    Am slightly worried by Button's second suggestion..

    By Blogger Spinsterella, at 12:12 PM  

  • If it's of any conceivable (excuse the pun) interest to anyone at all, I for one have always been much happier going into battle fully clad (so to speak) than being plagued for days/weeks after the completion of (what my old friend John Wheeler used to refer to as) "the painful duty" with doubts as to whether one had played one's part in bringing some poor, innocent young griper into this Godforsooken world.

    At least the Rubber Jonathan doubles as a fairly reliable early pregnancy detector. Full? "Huzzah!" Empty? "Lummy...". On the two or three occasions when the Swipe seed *has* been sprayed on fertile soil, the lightning conductor that is Messrs Durex & Co's finest has alerted self and concommitant sexual partner with sufficient time for the prompt application of coathanger in a warm bath of gin and no further damage has been done.

    We're not all uncaring brutes concerned only with administering our own jizz to the wombs of womanhood at large, you know....

    By Blogger Robert A. Swipe, at 1:30 PM  

  • oh, no! you're right - it ain't funny. sorry.

    By Blogger little sister, at 3:13 PM  

  • worry not Spinsterella

    much experience was gained of such things during my booze-soaked student days. Absolutely an expert now.

    By Anonymous Button, at 3:15 PM  

  • Oh the joys of condomage...Only the other day my friend remarked to me (in the cinema) Ooh I've got some revels in my bag, nope what I hear was Ooh I've got some rubbers in my bag. Like she was announcing it to me and wanted me to share them with her!
    Being a newly singleton I have *ahem* acquired some condoms which have about 2 years to go before expiry...some how methinks they'll still be squirreled away in my purse at that point...but strangely I'm quite proud of them - that's odd isn't it?

    By Blogger Jools, at 3:38 PM  

  • I've been wired up to receive Mirena TV and I still had a pregnancy scare at the weekend.

    World Peace will be achieved before a way of controlling my f***ing hormones is found.

    (Moan, moan, grumble bloody grumble...)

    By Blogger Kellycat, at 7:21 PM  

  • Sory- hormones

    By Blogger Kellycat, at 7:21 PM  

  • Yes, the safe, I'm afraid, because I can't have my nosy granddaughters discovering them and realising with total disgust and horror that their granddad actually (at least in principle) HAS SEX. Eeew, SICK!

    By Blogger DavetheF, at 7:43 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home