Spinsterella

Thursday, August 03, 2006

I know I'm desperate, but some subtlety, please...

Occasionally, one of my friends tries to help me out of my tragic spinsterhood. Not, admittedly, with any degree of success… My friend Tom and I were having some email banter one day.

From: Tom
To: Spinny
Subject: Chat

I’ve got this mate I reckon you’d fancy. He’s a lanky streak of piss and he plays the guitar – right up your street. What do you reckon?

From: Spinny
To: Tom
Subject: Re: Chat

Sounds interesting. Does he have those nice diagonal stomach muscles that men have?

From: Tom
To: John
Cc: Spinny
Subject: FW: Chat

Hi John,

Could you answer this question for my friend Spinny please?

From: John
To: Tom
Cc: Spinny
Subject: Re: FW: Chat

Hi Tom,

Well, I’d have to say that I’m not interested in any girl who is so concerned with physical appearance.

(But in answer to her question, yes, I do.)

From: Spinny
To: Tom

YOU GALLOPING FUCKING TWAT!



(PS – to all the people who ended up here from the link on the Grauniad’s blog provided by a certain Mr Swipe (who may or may not have been recently dooced )and who are now trawling through the archives, I’d just like to apologise profusely for the quality of the earlier posts. And, indeed, the current posts. And in advance for all future posts...)

16 Comments:

  • Hehe, I think I just lolled my pants. Mostly at the 'galloping fucking twat' bit - top notch swearing Spin.

    By Blogger LC, at 8:06 PM  

  • LOL

    okay, that's really a crappy comment but i am laughing out loud, really.

    By Blogger treespotter, at 9:07 PM  

  • Wow, your friend is absolutely full of tact and understanding of the subtleties of relationships.

    By Blogger frangelita, at 10:35 PM  

  • Hmmm..that is class. Excellent response to Tom.

    By Blogger Molly Bloom, at 11:01 PM  

  • Ooooh, I just saw what Bobster did...he's a crafty one.

    By Blogger Molly Bloom, at 11:06 PM  

  • Spinster,

    Knock 'em dead!


    Love on ya,

    Bob

    By Blogger Robert A. Swipe, at 12:11 AM  

  • class.

    By Blogger Chaucer's Bitch, at 12:33 AM  

  • Oh yummy love that muscle definition there but oh yeah, smack him for fowarding the question. Smack him hard.

    By Anonymous Grins, at 6:24 AM  

  • Obviously the guy is a 'galloping fucking twat' for forwarded the question (splendid swears by the way) but I have to to say the prospective guy is a bit of a twat too: "I’m not interested in any girl who is so concerned with physical appearance but actually I am rather attractive by the way."

    By Blogger Billy, at 8:16 AM  

  • To be fair how else is a man supposed to ask another man if he has a well toned torso without arousing suspicion?

    By Anonymous Sleepless in Swindon, at 9:01 AM  

  • I don't think he was being altogether serious, Billy.

    As they live up in the Midlands, it was a bit of a non-starter anyhow. (Although I did subsequently see a photo of John, and, I would.)

    It did make me laugh though. I certainly wouldn't let my old mate Tom near anyone I ever really liked.

    He once told a new boyfriend of mine that I was 'only good at bedroom gymnastics'.

    By Blogger Spinsterella, at 9:07 AM  

  • That made me laugh. Pity you didn't ask more personal questions - in these days of webcams you could have had a lot of blog post material!

    By Anonymous stagedive, at 12:04 PM  

  • Oh god - I had a friend like that who used to refer to sex with his girlfriend as 'bedroom olympics'. Perhaps it was the same one!

    By Blogger rockmother, at 9:47 AM  

  • I have done a lot of work on my abs and stomach (thanks Pilates teacher) but what diagonal muscles are those, exactly?

    By Blogger DavetheF, at 3:41 PM  

  • Are you actually going to live in Thailand with Footman?

    By Blogger DavetheF, at 7:01 PM  

  • They're called obliques, Dave.

    (I like.)

    I'm afraid the moving to Thailand is simply a figment of Bob Swipe's fevered imagination.

    I have been to Thailand lots of times and I do like it very much indeed, but the humidity play havoc with my hair.

    By Blogger Spinsterella, at 11:35 AM  

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