Wednesday, July 19, 2006

What are the chances?

The only person In Real Life who knows about this blog is the lovely Miss Meep, who introduced me to the whole blogging carry-on. She has a fantastic gorgeous husband and is the most happily married person I know (see, I'm not completely bitter and twisted). She was also with me on the most exciting day of my life - when I met David Hasselhoff.


None of the rest of my friends know. Because of the subject matter (bad sex, no sex, horribly personal shit, bitching about my friends) and general shoddiness of the writing, I don’t want anyone who has actually met me to ever see it. God, no.

I am totally paranoid about being discovered by People I Know. Obviously, I don't use any real names, and I am deliberately vague about times and places (although tragically, all stories are completely true). But still, I often consider going through the whole blog deleting all references to anything that might give the slightest clue to my real identity. The thought of anyone I actually know reading this shit makes me feel lightheaded.

But then I think – catch yourself on you stupid wench! I mean, there are approximately twelve people worldwide who read this blog. Here in Bristol, we’ve got a population of about half a million, and a mighty two folk who pop by occasionally. What are the chances?


Being a bit skint, I went on a lift-sharing forum to find a couple of randoms to give a lift to Latitude. A girl contacted me – her name rang a bell.

So I checked her blog, but it’s been in suspension for some months, and her name appeared to have changed. Plus she’s wearing a hat in the picture so isn't easily identifiable.

So I spent approximately 10 hours in a car with the lovely loganoc and her young man, not 100% sure if it was her or not. It was.

I’ve also sort of crossed paths with the Beep and Tim Footman, and driven past Surly's house in the past couple of months. All of which I find deeply unnerving the more I think about it.

(For the record, I do not know Bob Swipe. Although if he were a real person (as opposed to a demented persona created by a bored librarian from Slough), I’d be quite scared…)

Has anyone else accidentally met a fellow-blogger, or is this a genuinely weird coincidence?


  • thanks for clearing that one up. There's a post about the same sort of thing over at surly's at present. Rockmother apparently was at school with Bob swipe.

    Ooh, blog gossip (blossip?) - even more pointless than celeb gossip?

    My work clients read mine...

    By Blogger GreatSheElephant, at 12:46 PM  

  • Well, I certainly think it's very strange. I feel a bit stupid for not making the connection at all until I read your post about going to Latitude! Now I only have to run into Chaucer's Bitch (which is surely only a matter of time), but that may be truly awkward as I know way too much about her lovelife now. Anyway, I have taken down my real picture now, just to be safe. Although I could still be spotted wearing a tshirt with this pig on.

    By Blogger Loganoc, at 12:57 PM  

  • oh, and in a very real sense, are we not all librarians from Slough?

    By Blogger GreatSheElephant, at 1:08 PM  

  • This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    By Blogger the Maradona of Malawi, at 1:48 PM  

  • blossip - greatest word ever.

    Well, here in Malawi, I was at a party a few months back, when my blog was only about 2 months old (and still very unformed), chatting happily to a guy from America who was visiting, when he suddenly stopped me mid-sentence, saying: 'hang on... I've heard that story before. Do you have blog? Are you the guy who got car-jacked?'

    You should have seen my face. If anyone I work with (apart from a couple of close friends) saw my blog, I'd be sacked and quite possibly hung, drawn and quartered.

    like you, spin, I try not to finger any specific colleagues or donors when I'm blogging, but I still wake up in a cold sweat at the thought of my boss finding it.

    By Anonymous riddledwiththepox, at 2:10 PM  

  • 12m people in this city and nobody blogs, can you believe that?

    no? well, actually not me either.

    if anybody found out, really, i might have to skip town...

    By Blogger treespotter, at 2:12 PM  

  • you know, you can't say i never tried to do ya a favor. 'surly and the swipester' has a certain wacky, madcap sit-com ring to it, i think...
    oh well.
    id rather chew glass than have anyone i know read my blog. bows me away that you've actually met folks. scares me a little too, in a superstitious way.

    By Blogger First Nations, at 2:55 PM  

  • yes. my boss once called me over to his room cos his son knhow me in the blogworld. it was terrifying, cos he called and said, do you have a blog, and since i did at that time have one that consisted mainly of bvithcing about work i nearly pissed my pants.

    By Blogger MinCat, at 3:27 PM  

  • It was Tertiary College, not school, actually GSE. She still owes me for a bottle of Olde Englishe cider and 14 Dunhill, as it goes....

    I am a very harmless soul really, once you get past the venom and the diseased mind. (That all changes after a half of mild, mind.)

    Your blog's rather excellent actually Spin - I think you know this too, otherwise I'm sure we'd all be a bit more forthcoming with the compliments...

    Besides, I thought you'd done one of those blogger meet and greet things in Fleshville?? (Tim looks like a Kiwi rugby player, doesn't he?

    By Blogger Robert A. Swipe, at 3:29 PM  

  • Tertiary Swipe? More like Tortury! I jest - I like to call it 6th form college which sounds slightly less municipal. I haven't met any bloggers/commentee's by mistake although was amazed to discover that another blogger who comments on my blog knows a friend of mine - also a blogger. We all went out for a drink the other day. It was fine although he didn't look anything like I thought he would.

    I did think that a freelancer in our office was girlwithaonetrackmind for ages and then realised I had no reason at all to think she was except I thought that was what she should look like. Ridiculous. Perhaps I'll organise a little blog party at a conveniently situated drinking venue soon..maybe...or shall we just keep the mystery alive? Swipe 'never knowingly turns down a drink' will definately say yes I'm sure.

    For the record - I'm not really Olive from On the Buses - I'm just trying to keep the memory of crap (hilarious) sitcom alive.

    By Blogger rockmother, at 8:18 PM  

  • I also live in fear and dread that the players in my blog should one day read what I think of them.
    I only comment on Yorkshire blogs and those south of Birmingham and for this reason.
    I just don't get 'blogmeets'

    By Blogger KAZ, at 8:22 PM  

  • Hmm. I dread my family and romantic attachements discovering my blog, but other than that i don't really care. I'd love to meet you in meatspace, Spin!

    By Blogger Chaucer's Bitch, at 9:50 PM  

  • 12 comments and no-one has even asked about the David Hasselhoff experience! Pah!

    By Blogger Miss Meep, at 10:50 PM  

  • Miss Meep..

    That's what I was thinking!!!

    By Blogger Spinsterella, at 10:55 PM  

  • Just wondering...
    What happened when you met David Hass Le Hoff?

    By Blogger ClivePounds, at 8:47 AM  

  • "Swipe 'never knowingly turns down a drink' will definately say yes I'm sure."

    Love Island widowers please note the Lady Victoria Hervey style elementary spelling error....

    By Blogger Robert A. Swipe, at 9:54 AM  

  • i onse met DAVID HASERLHOF in a minse factry he kept saying odd furtive things like GET ME SUM CRISPS and JUST PARK IN THE DISABERLED SPACE into his wotch

    By Blogger PEANUT, at 10:08 AM  

  • "Perhaps I'll organise a little blog party at a conveniently situated drinking venue soon"

    Why don't you all tag along to our housewarming party? Then you can all get it in the neck from S. about this secret double life I'm supposed to be living while I go down the boozer and never knowingly turn down a drink?

    I'll post the address up when we actually live there.

    I have nothing to hide.

    (Well, apart from the illicit affairs and the transvestism, of course...)

    By Blogger Robert A. Swipe, at 11:13 AM  

  • Yay! Can I come?

    By Blogger rockmother, at 2:31 PM  

  • I'm actually astonished by how relatively common this blog-meeting thing is.

    And worried.

    Maybe some I know really is reading...

    For the record I've never been to a blogmeet thing, but I did meet Patroclus and lc at a gig.

    And anyhow CB, you wouldn't want to meet me IRL. It'd be a horrible disappointment. I'm retreating back inside my shell of anonymity forthwith.

    By Blogger Spinsterella, at 5:43 PM  

  • I've not been to one of these blogmeet thingies. How do you all identify each other? What do you talk about?

    Sounds good. I want in!

    By Blogger Billy, at 9:39 PM  

  • i've met one blogger and two or more others had my home address (until i moved - ha!)

    quite a few of my meatspace friends read my blog (as do my family) - it probably does stop me blogging about some things, but then i have my secret other blog *arches eyebrow in suggestive manner*

    but i've just b*ggered up just now by putting my real name in someone's comments box with a link back to my blog - cannot delete as it is not blogger


    By Blogger Urban Chick, at 10:26 PM  

  • Firstly I think blogmeet is a revolting word - really chummy and awful. Secondly, Spinny - did you meet LC and Patroclus at a gig just like that pre or post blog? I'm intrigued - I've never met anyone at a gig.

    I don't really know how you identify other bloggers - you just do.

    By Blogger rockmother, at 12:03 AM  

  • Ro-Mo's right (as alwaYS!! [sorry, I just had to shout the Y & S I'm not really pissed....) - Blogmeet is an exceptionally cunty word. It is banned forthwith....unless people get some soty of weird frisson from being completely uncool, in which case good on them. I'm listening to Bete Noire by Bryan Ferry as I type this, so I can hardly talk. I certainly can't stand up....)

    Besides, why spoil the incomparable sense of anticipation one experiences whenever the Swansea train pulls in to Bristol Parkway, maybe JUST this Once, a prehensile Leanne Battersby lookalikey with a Mary Whitehouse perm will board the train at precisely the carriage you are in, wearing a large placard saying words to the effect of "I am Spinsterella and, by my very nature, gagging for it. If you by any chance should happen to be called Robert Swipe, I'd go easy on the Babycham if I was you mistah, 'cos if you're still stationary when the last bar closes, you won't have much call for that 'the last virgin in Aberystwith' badge for much longer. At least, not while there's still a crisp twenty in your wallet.

    A man can dream, can't he?

    By Blogger Robert A. Swipe, at 12:43 AM  

  • Sheer terror is why I am posting as annon becasue my blog was discovered after 2 yers by a friend. To sum up, we are no longer friends. Now that person is cyber-snooping my new blog. After telling me they could not care less what I write, they visit my blog on an almost daily basis. Amusing in an oddd sort of WTF?! way.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:00 AM  

  • Is there such thing as a cyber-asbo? Someone should invent a little piece of code that bans freaky ex-friends from reading your new blog. I'm going to ask my friends at Snipperoo.com - they'll know. I reckon your friend has 'issues'.

    By Blogger rockmother, at 8:58 AM  

  • I've been to blogmeets; I used to work very near to another blogger so we used to occasionally see each other by chance in Victoria Sttaion. Because I publicise where (in public places) I'll be and invite people to say hello, they do.

    But bizarrely, my work building has about 4,000 people. Outside my immediate Unit and the one next to it I would say my "closest friend" is X. I discovered the other week that X is blogging and he had found me via Bloggers 4 Labour which is a bit spooky.

    By Anonymous Gert, at 4:51 PM  

  • Us Berliners have blog meets. The most fun to be had is when someone doesn't turn up, and we can spend all evening guessing if the next person who walks in the door is so-and-so. Particularly useful when one of our number who never shows up seems to be, er, gender ambivalent.

    By Blogger Bowleserised, at 5:47 PM  

  • I'm very envious of your Berlin blogmeets, B. I'd love to meet you and BiB.

    Everyone I know reads my blog, and practically everyone who reads it also knows who I am (not in the 'do you know who I am?' sense, I hasten to add - I've never made a scene at the Ryanair check-in desk when they wouldn't let me on a plane, for example).

    Anyway, Spin, I was talking to GSE the other day about my vague plans to organise another London blogmeet (yup, hate that word, that's why I have to put 'thing' after it) thing - would you be up for it? Although if you were going to have one in Bristol, I'd come to that - would very much like to meet loganoc and CB!

    By Blogger patroclus, at 8:50 AM  

  • Woohoo - blogmeet!

    I'd come to one in London. (Not Bristol. Too small, I might run into someone i actually know...)

    By Blogger Spinsterella, at 11:27 PM  

  • Oh shit.

    I was a bit pissed when i wrote that last comment.



    By Blogger Spinsterella, at 12:16 PM  

  • You drove past Surly's house? What on earth were you doing in this horrific neck of the woods?

    By Blogger Kellycat, at 12:55 PM  

  • I don't know any way to prevent Cyber Snoops but am investigating mwaa haa haaa We have one of our very own over at our Blog. It's quite funny, truth be told.

    By Blogger Kebab, at 3:12 AM  

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