Spinsterella

Friday, July 28, 2006

Spinsterella gets a bit pissed off with her favourite newspaper.

I don't think anything I've ever read in a newspaper has set my teeth on edge as much as this article in the Grauniad.

If you can't be arsed reading the link, in summary, staff at G2 decided it would be a whizz to bring their kids into work. Seventeen of them in all. Can you imagine? Seventeen fucking little bastard kids and surly bastard teens racing around the office when you're trying to work?

For that's what they did. You might think that nice middle-class children would be able to sit down and behave for at least some of the time? No. They ran fucking riot.

But the most jaw-clenchingly irritating thing is the attitude of the journalist, Tim Dowling, to the non-parents. "There was a distinct note of hostility from certain quarters" he notes sniffily, before continuing; "The parents, for the most part, found this attitude both surprising and distressing."

Oh, the poor parents!

And all this was before the kids actually arrived.

Once they do, mayhem ensues. They throw footballs around the office. They race office chairs down corridors. Indeed "... the volume really begins to rise: laughing, crying, shrieking, pleading. 'It's a real pain in the arse,' says a male - and yes, childless - colleague, complaining that he can't hear anyone on the phone."

Oooh, what a bastard, eh. A 'childless' man trying to get on with his job? And come on Tim, surely the leftie, PC Grauniad has adopted the term 'childfree' by now? (Er, nope, not in the style guide. Yet.)

But obviously, it's not the kids' fault. It's Modern Society! You see, in the old days the newspaper business was all shouting down the phone and typewriters and His Girl Friday and noisy printing presses. Ever-so-quiet email is just making the kids look bad!

All parties - parents, non-parents and kids got a right-to-reply after the event.

A Young
girl, 12: "Going into the Guardian has made me think I'd like to be a journalist and work there when I'm older." Well of course you will darling. With Daddy at the Beeb and Mummy at the Grauniad, you don't have much choice in the matter, ho ho. (Meanwhile, yet another ferociously bright well-read kid from the provinces gets told that there's absolutely no point in going into journalism as it's full of rich kids who've all had a hand up.)

The grown-ups were predictably neutral/positive/appeasing about the situation.

But massive respect and virtual pints are wending their way to deputy features writer
Emily Wilson and production editor Andrew Gilchrist for their honesty. And uncharacteristic hugs to the childless-not-by-choice anonymous person who found the whole thing very painful.

Anyhow...

I think the 'childless' need a day of revenge. I mean, their own turn... "Why don't we all just bring our dining room tables in?" someone suggested when the idea was first mooted. Well, why not?

Can you think of any other single/child-free themes that could be introduced into the G2 office for a day? At the minute all I can come up with is inviting all your friends round to have a disco.

Any suggestions will be gathered together and emailed to the G2 office. (And to that Andrew Gilchrist, he sounds like my sort of man. Does anyone know if he's single?)

45 Comments:

  • Gilchrist's "Bring A Dog" suggestion is great. I've worked with people who have to drop everything in the middle of press day when little Freddie grazes his knee (Me: "I thought you had a nanny."; Her: "But he's in casualty!"; Me: "Does the nanny not know how to get to casualty?"; Her: "But he needs me!"; Me: "No, he needs two stitches, that's why he's gone to casualty...", etc etc) and yet when I asked if I could knock off half an hour early on a slow day because my wife had called to say the dog had just been diagnosed with terminal liver cancer, and she sounded a bit miserable (wife and dog), the response was "do you need to?"

    Best quote: "We have entered into the spirit of it! We haven't hit anyone!" And the passing remark about aborted naps made me think evil thoughts, and then feel guilty about them.

    By Blogger Tim Footman, at 7:21 AM  

  • Jesus, that bloke who was proud of the fact that one of his kids had written "work harder people!" on the slogan board! Why are so many middle class parents such smug, self absorbed c*nts?

    "Bring a dog to work day" - good idea, especially if it's a Rottweiler or a St Bernard. Or how about a "bring an alcoholic down and out who has stopped taking his medication to work day"?

    Alright, maybe I'm a bit sore because I remember my MD's dimwit wife dumping her six month old daughter on my lap so that she could pop down to the shops for half an hour when I was the only person in the office. I was supposed to be typing and couldn't answer the phone which was at another desk ...

    *foams at the mouth*

    By Blogger Betty, at 9:22 AM  

  • Simple solution to all your woes about the guardian - stop buying it, stop reading it, its a pile of ****, get yourself a decent paper ie. The Times

    By Blogger You crazy bloggers, at 9:35 AM  

  • everybody should take their best friend to the office for the day.

    all those without kids would show up with their friends, who would sit quietly in the corner with a few cds and magazines, and fetch coffees every hour or so. those with children would show up with some equally horrid and smug mother who would embarrass everyone and end up being killed in a vicious stapler attck.

    Ha!

    By Blogger soph, at 9:36 AM  

  • I must read this! I like nothing better than taking my little child around to childless couples houses and watching their piggy little eyes watch Dexter run rampant around their knick-knacks. Single people really do find children quite offensive, which is fine because I'm starting to find single people of a certain age mostly childish and offensive - present company accepted, of course.

    Actually, there is a sliding scale - me and Dexter are at the bottom of it. Singles find couples offensive, childless couples find couples tedious, parents with little girls thank the fuck they didn't have a little boy. There is nothing quite like a little boy to set the rest of the world on edge. Poor Dexter.

    By Blogger Wyndham, at 11:59 AM  

  • There's a pissed up guy lives round the corner I often see him wandering up and down the street with a carrier bag stuffed full of super-strength lager. I'd like to take him to my office one day, sit back and see the results.

    I found out the other day that when you get married the management give you some vouchers. I'm tempted to enter into a marriage of convienience with one of my work colleagues but I don't think any of them will have me.

    By Blogger Billy, at 12:49 PM  

  • The only more intolerable than ill-behaved children is parents who find the behaviour acceptable or are just too fucking lazy to correct it.

    Example: "Dad. Move, Dad." I look at him blankly. He leans in close. "MOVE!" I get up and wander over to another dad..." His son orders him around and he just obeys! Who is in charge here?! It SURE AS SHIT isn't "Dad."

    And what kind of snotty little brat looks at her father and says "Dad, do you do anything? Because you haven't really done anything all day." I'd have smacked my kid for a crack like that.

    I can't wait to have children. :-)

    I think the solution here if for all the parents to go into their kids' schools and engage in exactly the same behavior the kids the kids did at the office. That would demonstrate quite nicely how obnoxious they were, and embarass the hell out of them in front of their friends. It's too bad those parents don't seem to even realize that their kids need to be punished!

    By Blogger Chaucer's Bitch, at 1:08 PM  

  • I've seen both sides of this. I can't bear it when people let their kids run riot. They are infuriating. Ripping up copies of 'Ulysses' and their parents giggling, 'Oooh isn't William fantastic!' and also, now I have a child of my own...sometimes it's flippin' hard to stop them doing what they want. Although...I'm quite lucky that my daughter is 2, going on 30. This morning, she came downstairs...sat on the sofa...sighed...and then said, quietly, 'I feel like shit!' and then when I was late getting ready to go out...she sighed again and said, 'Sigh...we're never going to get there on time now...no chips for me.' Sometimes kids can be hell...but sometimes they are a true joy.

    It depends on their parents.

    But...taking them to work is a no-no. Arrgh. How awful.

    By Blogger Molly Bloom, at 3:32 PM  

  • I can't understand Tim's view there. If a child is in casualty, for whatever reason, it's going to be pretty upset and confused, and I think it's a bit insensitive to make a parent have to argue the toss about it before she can winkle out permission to go to the hospital.

    Anyway, I hope they never do anything like that where I work - one of the main attractions of going to work is getting away from the children for 8 hours.

    By Blogger looby, at 7:29 PM  

  • hmm, wyndham and I are not going to get on.

    Why is it so immoral to find children noisy, chaotic and annoying? I don't like them, I'm not going to have any and I expect people to keep theirs under control on my territory. There is nothing worse than parents who find it amusing to let their little darlings rampage round breaking other people's things - it speaks of a complete contempt for people with different life choices.

    The Guardian experience would have driven me absolutely insane with fury. In fact I would have probably thrown a sickie to avoid it. Some of the older children sounded like they made themselves relatively useful I suppose, but I still think there's a lot to be said for keeping small children on leads at all times.

    As I've mentioned before, my parents used to shut me in a pen with bits of taxidermy when they had to take me into the shop and look how well I've turned out (*starts dribbling*)

    By Blogger GreatSheElephant, at 8:22 PM  

  • Hmmm, "life choice." interesting phrase.

    By Blogger Wyndham, at 11:21 PM  

  • It's very simple.

    Feed them jelly babies, and when they get shouty lock them in the coal shed.

    It did wonders for me.

    By Blogger garfer, at 11:43 PM  

  • childless, and with looby. it's frankly ludicrous to think that any parent shouldn't be with their young child when s/he has to go to hospital for whatever reason.

    basically kids are a bit chaotic, but you don't need expose yourself to them (when inviting childed friends around tell them the kid's not welcome if you feel that strongly about it) and you equally don't have to impose them on other people. here, we all have individual offices, it's not open plan so taking kids to work doesn't do the slightest bit of harm. you bump into them on the corridor occasionally, but thats it.

    In an open plan office, it's ridiculous to bring them in when people need to work to tight deadlines. It's the employers fault for allowing, not the parents fault for wanting to be with their kids.

    By Anonymous riddledwiththepox, at 11:52 PM  

  • I think bring a pet to work day is a fab idea..including cockroaches, stick insects, reptiles and sheep! Ooh imagine the larks, but if it were a truly single experience then maybe some cosmopolitans, pinot grigot, your shoe rack and everyone has to display their mobile phone photos on a huge PPT presentation!

    By Blogger Jools, at 8:27 AM  

  • why is life choice an interesting phrase? Some people choose to have children, some people don't. It seems to me one of the most fundamental choices about your life you can make.

    By Blogger GreatSheElephant, at 11:16 AM  

  • I agree with GSE there. There are some people who want children and can't have them and that's very sad; there are some people who don't want children but have them and that's a potential disaster area for all concerned. But the majority of people who have kids choose to have them, and that's lovely. The question is the point at which their perfectly justifiable right to have kids bumps up against others' rights to (for example) have a meal in peace in a restaurant without having a three-year-old crawl under their table and puke on their shoes (as happened to an ex-colleague of mine). It's a bit like fags. Non-parents like the ones in the Guardian are forced into a state of passive parenting, which is OK up to a point, until it gets malignant.

    By Blogger Tim Footman, at 11:45 AM  

  • Hear, hear. There would be a lot fewer unhappy children in this world if society would just rid of the prejudice that there is something morally suspect about not wanting children and the resulting pressure to have them whether you want to or not. So often I meet this slightly pitying and condescending attitude when I reveal that I don't have children and don't want to. There is nothing wrong with me - I'm just different to you. I've simply taken a rational view about what I value in life and what I don't and whether I'd make a good parent and have made a responsible decision on the back of that. I also know the reasons for my attitudes. That does not give anyone the right to think it's OK or funny to let their child destroy my stuff, or in the case of the article, damage my working environment and it hardly gives the child a positive lesson about respecting other people's opinions. I hope Wyndham was joking (I find it hard to tell at times)but I know through experience that a lot of people do have that very attitude.

    By Blogger GreatSheElephant, at 12:07 PM  

  • What astonished me the most was how badly behaved the children were.

    Running riot at five is fair enough I suppose, but surely by eight years old they are old enough to understand and do what their parents tell them?

    I think Tim's point was more that poeple with kids get to take time off work for any sort of kid-related reasons. In my old job I got quite infuriated with the amout of random afternoons the pregnant women (three out of five of us) were able to take off for various appointments. But when I inquired if I could get time in lieu for the considerable amount of voluntary work I did last year my boss laughed at me.

    By Blogger Spinsterella, at 6:19 PM  

  • Well, I have a daughter and four grandchildren and I think Britain has a problem if parents are bringing up or failing to bring up their kids in order for them to behave so badly when they have been brought there to learn something. I would have lodged a protest with the editor. In SA there is a "take your daughter to work" day, and the kids that come into our news room are very interested in what we do and watching their parents work. We also have senior schoolkids touring the department every week and they seem not to find it a problem to behave appropriately.

    Wyndham, you are the one who will end up paying for this indulgence later on; just ask my daughter what happens later when your kids object to having boundaries.

    By Blogger DavetheF, at 7:04 PM  

  • Well Spin, for a kick off, this is just the kind of arse we should expect from the New Labour's hairy crack licker that the Cuntiad has become. The paper, like the whole of what used to be known vaguely as the Labour movement has completely lost its raison d'etre - ie, the improvement of the lot of working people in Great Britain and as a result seems to be little more than an increasingly desperate advert for the dubious charms of being a middle class tosser. Not content with signing up to the "we can have it all - AND WE'LL NEVER DIE!!" philosopy currently favoured by global capitalism, they want to inflict same on those of us who have opted out of the breeding scene.

    Consequently, any storyline that can take up a few column inches that might otherwise have been used to bring readers' attentions to the latest iniquities and fradulence being perpetrated on Britain's millions of working people by those nominally charged with protecting the interests of same is welcomed by the Cuntiad's (I suppose we have to call them this) journalists as if it were a Russian petro-billionaire.

    It's hard to conceive of a punishment that could equal that which they've just inflicted upon themselves - first in having the wretched little Petronellas and Tobiases at all and then bringing them up in a fashion guaranteed to turn their offspring into the sort of eminently stranglable little oiks that they would happily have bayoneted as soon as look at in their own youth, had they been the spawn of others.

    Perhaps a seat next to my old working class tory drinking pal Dennis Cripps where they could sniffily observe him as he necks back his eighth pint of Courage Directors on his four-hour long lunch hour, before carping on for half an hour about how Maggie has sorted out "the public sceptre" (in which he himself 'works') and saying things like, "it don't make sense, do it John??"

    That'll teach 'em...

    By Blogger Robert A. Swipe, at 8:14 PM  

  • As a single person, I don't find children offensive in general - only the badly behaved ones (and i'm sure that Dexter is one of the good ones).

    And true, some single people can be very arsey about other people's children - I am. But this is a (defensive) spinster blog.

    But I think that overall, there is considerably more disapproval of people who choose not to have children. I have had people *shouting* at me when I have mildly suggested that I didn't think I wanted kids.

    But never say never, eh?

    You never know, I might meet the man of my dreams strolling up Park Street tomorrow, we'll fall madly in love, and, in five years time I'll be standing in Asda crying because I can't get my children to behave and my husband's left me and I can't cope.

    By Blogger Spinsterella, at 10:04 PM  

  • he'd have to be quite mad to leave you. not matter how shitty the kids.

    By Anonymous riddledwiththepox, at 11:34 PM  

  • Due to a lack of childcare, my mum was forced to take me to work with her during the school holidays when I was about 8 or 9. I would never have dreamed of misbehaving. In fact, I was put to work as an office junior in the post room for the duration of the holidays, and they even had a whip round to present me with a wage packet at the end. I actually found it quite educational.

    As an alternative, how about a "bring your parents to work day". My dad could fix my squeaky chair and my mum could take all my calls....

    By Blogger Kellycat, at 7:00 AM  

  • "...in five years time I'll be standing in Asda crying..."

    Asda?? Why on earth Asda, The Spinster???? (That's your new monicker, btw - much better than Spinny, isn't it?) I mean, don't you have Waitrose in Bris'ol??

    (Thinks -I bet The Spinster will be one of those Barbara Ellen mum's with Matteus rose stains all down her front and a crafty Tia Maria miniature hidden in her Tote. No wonder I walked out on her....)

    Wrod vrrecfication: faahts (!!??)

    By Blogger Robert A. Swipe, at 12:41 PM  

  • So many strong opinions - and no surprises there.

    Personally, I think my productivity would have suffered a lot on that day at the paper. Thankfully, my role as part time lesbian journalist means I get to write in the privacy of my own - child free - home.

    I love kids, and really enjoy being an uncle and a godfather. I love spending time with them, teaching them some simple magic tricks, playing video games, playing real games that actually involve physical activity, etc.

    However, I agree to an extent with Chaucer's Bitch and Great She Elephant that when a parent takes their kids into someone else's territory - whether it's their home or their place of work - then the parent should be responsible for the child's behaviour. A parent who allows their child to run riot in such circumstances, is acting irresponsibly, and is setting a very bad example/precedent for the child.

    By Blogger Qenny, at 1:39 PM  

  • I had to go to work with my mum once when she was a dinner lady because I had sprained my neck. I sat on a chair and read. It was quite dull.

    I think the whole experience sounds tremendously exhausting and I can kind of see why some people were so mad about it. And I can definitely understand how it might feel for the childless not by choice woman. I bet she wasn't the only one.

    By Blogger frangelita, at 1:58 PM  

  • "..when she was a dinner lady because I had sprained my neck."

    Ah, so THAT'S how you get into the closed circle that is being a dinner lady!

    Quick!! Bring me a child so I can sprain its neck and start ladling piss coloured 'custard' onto spotted dick.....

    (There isn't an exam is there Frangelita?)

    By Blogger Robert A. Swipe, at 2:07 PM  

  • Having read the article it would appear that they organised it in such a way as to invite trouble (probably deliberately because it wouldn't be much of a story if the kids were well behaved). Kids and work don't mix because work isn't fun and without a proper creche (turning a meeting room into a play room doesn't count if you still have to supervise your own children) they will get bored and then even the most well behaved child will turn into the spawn of Satan.

    The childless out there would do well to remember that it is the income tax paid by this current generation of children that will pay your pensions when you retire and become your doctors when you fall ill so be nice about the little darlings or they might stick you in a home. (oh and whilst were on the subject if you'd have done the decent thing and popped out a few sprogs then we wouldn't be facing a pensions crisis so it's your own damn fault you'll have to work until you're 70)

    Undercover - surely you're having a laugh, The Times has been going downhill for years and is now just like The Sun without the nudity.

    By Anonymous Scarlette O'Harlot, at 3:03 PM  

  • "The childless out there would do well to remember that it is the income tax paid by this current generation of children that will pay your pensions when you retire and become your doctors when you fall ill"

    Don't think so Scarlett. I have a nice little lump sum. If it's all the same to you, I reserve the right to hold the opinion that they can all fuck off with their metrosexual mohawks and mobile phones that play the Scooby Doo theme. I shall be enjoying my Sexy Beast-style retirement childless, drinking myself to oblivion without the need of them or their care homes. Perhaps you lot with kids should have thought more about your descendants than yourselves when you let Thatcher and Major (and now Brown and Blair) fuck their futures up for them.

    By Blogger Robert A. Swipe, at 3:22 PM  

  • Didn't mention before, when I was a kid, I went to the office pretty much every week with either my mum or my dad, especially on saturdays (both normally worked saturdays). I loved going to the office with my dad especially. I got to sit at his typewriter (back in the day) and write stories or just clack away and listen to the pleasing sound. his colleagues used to come into this office to chat with me every once in a while as well. and his secretary used to take me downstairs to various dai pai dongs for char siu fan lunchboxes, which was great (this was in Hong Kong).

    in my mum's office, i used to read for hours on end, usually going through most of a book over the day, and eat constantly. never bothered anyone.

    moral of the nostalgia trip? as I said above, you can do what you want if you've got a private office, as long as you can get your work done.

    By Anonymous riddledwiththepox, at 3:26 PM  

  • "I have a nice little lump sum. If it's all the same to you, I reserve the right to hold the opinion that they can all fuck off with their metrosexual mohawks and mobile phones that play the Scooby Doo theme."

    Then let's just hope that the kids who will become the next generation of fund managers aren't reading this and decide to fuck off on holiday with your nice little lump sum leaving you penniless. Kids are the future - If you fuck them over now; they'll fuck you right back when you're old and grey.

    By Anonymous Scarlette o'harlot, at 4:05 PM  

  • Um.

    If we're going to talk about tax.

    I believe that my income tax goes towards schools and universities, family tax credits, assistance for single and working mums, etc..

    All of which I support whole- heartedly, even though it's of no benefit to me.

    Swings and roundabouts, eh?

    (In case you were wondering, I didn't meet any hot men on Park Street today.)

    (And, I can't read the Times as I am a raving republican. Which only leaves the Guardian and the (blogger-hating) Indie.)

    By Blogger Spinsterella, at 4:42 PM  

  • I was about to say the same thing spin about where my tax is going but you got there first, in a far more tactful way.

    "done the decent thing" - that sort of phrasing rather proves my earlier point. So I get to work my entire life to support myself and people still want to call me a parasite. Frankly, I think I'm doing the decent thing by not having any sprogs.

    And none of us singles are talking about 'fucking children over'. We're just asking them to behave nicely.

    By Blogger GreatSheElephant, at 5:03 PM  

  • Maybe in your world all children behave like the Von Trapps but if/when you have some of your own you are in for a real shock because if you can't stop a cat shitting where it wants then how can you hope to control a child?

    And hurrah for all those childless tax payers who don't mind that their tax money is spent on children. Nice to know that even though you don't really have choice about how your tax money is spent you still don't begrudge paying it.

    Now we can carry on debating this and get nowhere or we can stop being so smug and childless or preachy and child-laden* and get on with what this blog is supposed to be about. So who got a shag at the weekend then?

    *please delete as appropriate

    By Anonymous Scarlette o'harlot, at 6:16 PM  

  • God.

    All I wanted was a few fluffy and inconsequestial suggestions for single people to cause a bit of mayhem in the G2 office.

    No nasty comments about other bloggers please!

    Anyhow - so far Kellycat's idea of bringing your parents in has been my favourite. Especially if, like mine, the parents are completely bonkers. Although a shoe-rack, is an off-kilter, but interesting one....

    By Blogger Spinsterella, at 7:49 PM  

  • Dave, just when did I say he didn't have boundaries? My single friends definition of Dexter running riot is just letting him into their house!

    By Blogger Wyndham, at 8:11 PM  

  • Wyndham, I wasn't intending to come on strong. Just passing on my no doubt hoary experience. In fact I have a great grandson called Thomas who is six, built like a rugby forward, clever as all hell, sensitive -- and rough as a bull in a china shop, all in the name of fun. He has THREE sisters. So I do actually empathise about Dexter.

    By Blogger DavetheF, at 8:35 PM  

  • How about 'take a stool sample to work' day? They're more interesting, pedestrian, and their smell is marginally less odious than the waft of kids.

    By Anonymous Don, at 9:55 AM  

  • "...let's just hope that the kids who will become the next generation of fund managers aren't reading this and decide to fuck off on holiday with your nice little lump sum leaving you penniless"

    Fund managers? You're joking aren't you Scarlette? It's under the mattress. And if you think that obscene wealth isn't its own punishment, you should try sleeping on top of 250,000 sobs...My spine's like a bleedin' ladle.

    p.s. sorry I missed the 'e' off last time. And sorry if we crossed swords earlier - I'm not really a militantly anti-kid person. In fact I'd quite like kids, but the other half has decided against it, leaving me with no option but to stare bleakly into the abyss of eternity in the knowledge that the family tree ends with my branch. All the thousands and thousands of generations that preceded me were all for nought, their desperate clamour to pass on their simple genetic bequest to the future silenced by our sterile reproach, our lives reduced to a meaningless shambles as we drift idly along waiting for death and the icy darkness that will consume us.

    Still, I suppose I could always shag someone else...

    By Blogger Robert A. Swipe, at 4:24 PM  

  • bring a teddy bear to work?

    (Spinsterella- that was the fluffiest thing I could think of).

    By Anonymous Button, at 4:52 PM  

  • I could bring the cats in and they could poo on everyone's desk

    By Blogger GreatSheElephant, at 6:14 PM  

  • late, as usual, but weighing in anyway.

    i have a small person but i hate and resent other people's kids bugging the fuck out of me. even my brother's kids were a nightmare at the weekend - is he deaf? if i can hear them SCREAMING why can't he?

    small people don't belong in the office, full stop. they don't belong anywhere work-related, unless it's childline or up a chimney.

    *runs away, grateful that nobody will ever read this*

    By Blogger surly girl, at 8:50 PM  

  • surl: i did

    heh

    **runs off to tell everyone else in the playground what surly said**

    By Blogger Urban Chick, at 9:55 PM  

  • Bring your kids to work would be an absolute no-no as far as I'm concerned. Except for the exceptions - eg a few years ago a senior colleague's wife was sick (vomiting, the lot) and he brought the kids in to pick up some work to take home. Whilst they were there he expected them to behave themselves; they did.

    When I go to a restaurant I do not want other people's children a) running out onto a busy road in front of my eyes or b) getting under the feet of the waiter so that he trips, bangs into my table and spills my red wine onto my white blouse. Whilst the parents are oblivious to their spawn.

    I don't notice the 80% (?) of children who sit at table and are engaged in conversation with their parents, getting up only to go to the loo. Seeing that many parents manage to achieve this...by being interested in their children...I don't see what's so difficult for the rest.

    But no dogs at work, either. Perfectly well trained dogs take one sniff at me and mayhem ensues.

    If my employer had a bring your spawn/dogs to work day I would opt for a "Stay at home with no impact on my pay or holiday entitlement thank you very much day"

    By Anonymous Gert, at 6:11 PM  

  • If you're ever involved in a 'Bring a Cunt' to work day just give us a shout. I'm a fucking rotter.

    'Work harder people,' little Jocasta wrote on the board.

    'Learn to punctuate, you pretentious little cunt,' I would have been tempted to add.

    By Blogger infinitemuppets, at 3:34 PM  

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