Spinsterella

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Frightened don't fuck?

This rather astute comment was made by Don in response to the "fussy don't fuck" theory.

'Sometimes "fussy" is because they're afraid to fuck. Their requirements conveniently preclude them from the meat-market.'

Um.

I think he might be right.

I am afraid of bad sex.

I'm scared of getting to know someone, getting to like them, and the sex being really awful. Or mediocre. I don't know why, with a few
notable exceptions my experiences have ranged from Quite Nice to Bloody Stupendous.

Maybe it's just been too long...


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15 Comments:

  • Yep, see this is yet another problem with that 'no sex before marriage' nonsense. By the time you find out they're rubbish, it's too late to get shot of them!! It'd be hard enough if you'd been dating them for a month or two before hand. Clearly the only sensible answer is to always shag at the earliest opportunity!

    By Anonymous Anna, at 12:03 PM  

  • How about the radical idea of talking to the prospective partner, revealing your preferences and finding out theirs too? That way, you have the bonus of 'sex talk' (in my book, the best foreplay of all) and a better chance of satisfactory sex. Best of all, get to know them first. It seems to me, if you really like some one, you work it out between you - it's good to talk before you pork!

    Speaking as a man, there's often a lot of pressure on them because they're very aware of the expectation to be "good at sex", as if there's a "one technique suits all", and sex is something that's "done" to women as they lie their passively.

    Having to make a little bit of an effort doesn't make an encounter bad. It's only crap when despite your best efforts, they still laugh; or, they refuse to consent to your particular sexual preferences. I ask you, what's wrong with gas masks, wellington boots, a guiness bottle, and lashings and lashings of butter!

    By Anonymous Don, at 12:32 PM  

  • true, that's pretty bad and i had experience with that. but responding to anna's comment on shag at the earliest opportunity - while it is indeed fun - i don't believe it works either.

    sex is always special, so unless you only want sex and nothing else, to indulge it in the very beginning will really wear off the novelty real quick and unless the sex was supremely good on this first one, then you'll be lost to look for other things.

    i think anyway.

    By Blogger treespotter, at 12:38 PM  

  • I'm frightened of all sex. or more accurately all relationships, which, seeing as I'm not very prolific with one night stands, limits the sex to the bare bones. the basic fear is that actually being with someone will never match up to how i imagine it; hence, its safer just to live in the imagination.

    By Anonymous riddledwiththepox, at 2:34 PM  

  • I'd read this Spin and get a bloody move on if I were you....

    By Blogger Robert A. Swipe, at 3:23 PM  

  • I've caught alot of fish; some large, some medium and some small. Catching small ones doesn't deter me from fishing.

    By Blogger Remiman, at 5:30 PM  

  • It's good to be frightened of bad sex, it's quite an frightening thing.

    As a meat market-phobe I agree with Don's comment.

    By Blogger Billy, at 10:25 PM  

  • Don - TALK about sex? Good god, I'm Irish you know.

    Riddled, um, yeah, that sounds about right....

    By Blogger Spinsterella, at 10:43 PM  

  • Spin, have you ever considered paying for it? That way you could keep sex and relationships with people you like entirely seperate from each other, which seems to be the problem as far as I can fathom.

    By Blogger LC, at 10:49 PM  

  • No

    By Blogger Spinsterella, at 11:11 PM  

  • praps you shold setle down with a nice mug of OVALTEEN insted and reed PUT OUT MORE FAGS by EVERLIN WOR the lady riter

    i cant ofer any other advise as its not my demesne

    By Blogger PEANUT, at 11:28 PM  

  • Evelyn Waugh is indeed my favourite lady writer. Did you know her husband was called Evelyn as well? What a stupid name for a man.

    Anyhow..

    Perhaps I should have added that I can't possibly pay for it, because I don't have any money.

    By Blogger Spinsterella, at 11:27 AM  

  • "Evelyn Waugh is indeed my favourite lady writer. Did you know her husband was called Evelyn as well? What a stupid name for a man."

    Does this mean I have to marry Billie Piper? I'd much rather have Billie Holliday. Or Billie Whitelaw.

    By Blogger Billy, at 11:56 AM  

  • Spinsterella,

    You said, "TALK about sex? Good god, I'm Irish you know".

    It never bothered James Joyce.

    Perhaps you could prepare an instruction list which you hand to your prospective partner some time before you intend to do the deed. Something along the lines of:-

    Pay strict attention to these areas, and in the following sequence

    1. Ear lobes.
    2. Neck
    3. ... [Barbara Cartland ellipse for the sake of decency]
    999. Don't slam the door when you're leaving.

    By Anonymous Don, at 12:59 PM  

  • Maybe I could just tell them about this blog...

    Um, maybe not.

    By Blogger Spinsterella, at 3:58 PM  

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