Monday, June 19, 2006

Adam’s Lessons in Life (Part I)

Girl flatmate was having a bit of a trauma last year. She’d had a very intense holiday fling in Greece with a British timeshare salesman (I know). He was drop-dead-gorgeous, the sex had been unbelievable, and they were so much on the same wavelength that it seemed he could read her mind. He cried when he left her at the airport…

After she returned they texted each other dozens of times a day. For weeks. Then, suddenly, it stopped.

So we were sitting in the living room having a full-scale discussion about him. Something must have happened, what does it all mean, etc.

Adam, male-flatmate’s friend was round, and became increasingly agitated as girl-flatmate and I chatted on and on and on, back and forth, covering every possibility…

Eventually, he could bite his tongue no longer.

"Girls," he exploded, "you are reading way too much into this. Men are simple creatures. If we want to ring we will, if we don’t, we won’t. That’s all there is to it."



  • it's true. Men are simple. Just like we tend to anthropomorphise our pets, we make the mistake of attributing all sort of 'reasons' to the behaviour to men. If he really really liked her so much that he didn't want to risk losing her, he'd call.

    By Anonymous undercovercookie, at 11:50 AM  

  • I'm not all that simple, being a mass of contradictory impulses governed (loosely) by fear of rejection, but then just last week one of my (girl)friends said "you're entirely unlike any other male on the planet", so perhaps I'm not a good example.

    Perhaps he got hit by a truck?

    By Anonymous riddledwiththepox, at 12:23 PM  

  • It's not that we're simple - just that we have our own special way of doing things. We like to call it 'logic'.

    Man thinks: "I like girl. I want to call girl."
    Man picks up phone and calls girl.

    Man thinks: "Girl is getting a bit neurotic and weird - I don't want to call girl."
    Man does not call girl.

    I know this may seem strange and confusing, but once you learn to understand the subtle intricacies of how it works, it's really quite a useful system for making decisions in life.

    By Blogger LC, at 12:53 PM  

  • Ouch. Sounds like a poorly executed case of "I'm just not that into you."

    NB to the men: Simple though you may be, this shouldn't preclude a little bit of simple courtesy. If you want things to be over, end them properly. Grumble, grumble.

    By Blogger Hannah, at 12:57 PM  

  • It's wonderful fun to try and generalise and conclude things like 'men are simple and women very complex', but that doesn't actually get you any closer to the truth.
    How on earth could you hope to solve this riddle whilst sitting in your flat, with only gender stereotypes as your clues?
    I suggest you fly over there, hire a private detective and get to the bottom of it all.
    Or perhaps just drop it and move on.

    By Blogger babyatom, at 1:08 PM  

  • way to break the gender stereotypes, lc. why you immediately assume that because the bloke stopped phoning that it must be because the woman got all wierd and neurotic on him? *pfff*

    By Blogger Chaucer's Bitch, at 1:32 PM  

  • I wasn't saying that's what happened in this particular situation - it was just an example. There are many, many reasons why the guy might not have called:

    1) He could be shagging somebody else.
    2) He could be dead.
    3) Er...

    By Blogger LC, at 2:15 PM  

  • It's probably something very simple. She started calling him 'darling' or something. dh

    By Blogger dh, at 2:40 PM  

  • There is actually a long, complicated and tedious story attached to Timeshare Guy which I shan't bore you with. He wasn't dead.

    I was more interested in what Adam had to say...

    I have been dumped a couple of times by the man just not calling again. Which proves Adam absolutely right.

    But, once, there was this guy, I had been TOLD he fancied me, I gave him my number (and my email) and he never called.

    HE must have gone under a bus...

    By Blogger Spinsterella, at 4:33 PM  

  • And I would not blame you if you'd pushed him.

    By Anonymous undercovercookie, at 4:36 PM  

  • Why didn't she call him? Talk about gender stereotypes?

    By Blogger DavetheF, at 8:00 PM  

  • She had been (calling and texting him, that is) and wasn't getting any response.

    She is not the sort of lass to sit around and mope. She's a proactive sort.

    By Blogger Spinsterella, at 9:19 PM  

  • For men it's all in the chase, not for the capture.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:45 PM  

  • Men are idiots. Having said that, I don't understand them and they don't get my humour. It's like that bit in Love Actually where Colin Firth and the foreign bint are talking about donuts.
    Oh yes. It's that good...
    Also... LC is probably right. NB: What man considers neurotic and wierd isn't often what woman considers neurotic and wierd.

    By Blogger No Shit Sherlock, at 12:16 AM  

  • nope. something's up. met another flossie.
    see? simple.

    By Blogger First Nations, at 3:32 AM  

  • Sounds like he is probably well into his third or fourth relationship with any wide eyed holiday shags who might come along. No need to pine over someone who isn't there, If you can't be with the one you love, honey, love the one you're with!

    By Blogger Fewclewz, at 5:43 AM  

  • He met someone else. Much respect for being able to raise a tear at the airport though. Is he an actor now?

    By Blogger GreatSheElephant, at 1:33 PM  

  • Yes. Really

    By Blogger Ultra Toast Mosha God, at 2:38 PM  

  • Why is it, in this society of ours, where mobile phones, TV's, computers, to name but a few of a million things, are completely disposable, and what's more, endorsed by everyone with shouts of "hurrah for freedom of choice"... why is it, then, when a man employs the same principle in choosing a partner, and changes his mind, there's an outcry, and shouts of "And I would not blame you if you'd pushed him [under a bus]"?

    [scratches head in bewilderment]

    By Anonymous Don, at 1:00 PM  

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