Wednesday, May 10, 2006

A couple entwined, pass me by..

A was my gig-going, indie-dancing, vodka-drinking, boy-chasing partner-in-crime at school. We had other friends, but none who really cared about Morrissey. Then she got a boyfriend, and she’s never been single since.

Just as we went into sixth form, she met P.

At that time, we only fancied long-haired men, or at least scruffy guys in jeans and band t-shirts. But this lad was straight. He sported short, ginger hair with a side-parting. He wore trousers and shoes (not DMs and 501s). And he liked Prince.

P was two year older, and had just started university, but he came home faithfully to our shitty horrible hometown to see her every single weekend. My Friday nights of going out with A and leaping around to Jane’s Addiction were over forever, because she was now busy doing weird coupley shit like watching videos and going to the cinema with him. Still, I liked him, he was a nice bloke.

But, despite the seriousness of their relationship, they weren’t having sex. The poor chap wasted those valuable first years of freedom. I guess he thought it’d be worth it in the end when she finally started uni.

A year or so later I started going out with Psycho. One night, the four of us stayed at a free house in Belfast during the Summer after A-levels. (When I finally got a boyfriend, I was elevated back to ‘friend’ status.) The next morning Psycho was strutting round showing off (a) his pecs and (b) the fresh scratch-marks on his back. I believe the general shag-happiness of me’n’Psycho led to P inquiring of my friend just when the fuck was she ever going to put out?

She dumped him three weeks after she started university, without ever actually lobbing the leg over, and started going out with someone else almost immediately. Poor bastard.

(I’ve been friends with her for twenty years now, but I have to admit, she can be a right bitch.)


  • Yay! I'm first!

    By Blogger MJ, at 8:07 AM  

  • I was happy in the haze of a miserable hour, But heaven knows I'm drunk now...

    actually i'm not - but may well be this evening and certainly was a bit last night.

    By Blogger Kirses, at 10:16 AM  

  • Presumably, your partner in crime missed out on three weeks of sexual high-jinks too. So P can take some consolation, can't he?

    By Blogger The Blind Flaneur, at 12:02 PM  

  • Fucking hell, how long was this guy 'going out' with her without actually getting any action? I know some people like to do things the old fashioned way, but really, if nothing happens after a few weeks why would you bother sticking around?

    By Blogger LC, at 1:26 PM  

  • Just over 2 years.

    Remember, this was holy Catholic Ireland.

    All of my friends were at university before they lost their virginity.

    By Blogger Spinsterella, at 2:23 PM  

  • I think that sad state of affairs is what gave rise to the saying 'Youth is wasted on the young'.

    By Blogger First Nations, at 5:54 PM  

  • lc, I thought the theory was that you kept them waiting as long as possible and that's what gets the man hooked. I certainly know that the moment I put out, I'll never see the guy again and it doesn't matter whether it's on the first date or the 10th.

    By Blogger GreatSheElephant, at 12:32 PM  

  • When To Put Out is an interesting topic indeed and one I shall be pontificating on at length at some point in tht future.

    Although why would anyone want to listen to someone slabbering on about men and sex and relationships who HASN'T HAD A SNIFF FOR NEARLY A YEAR?

    By Blogger Spinsterella, at 3:38 PM  

  • Well, it's a Very Important Part of the relationship innit. And if it's not happening after, I dunno, say a month at the most, I'd assume that she wasn't interested and move on.

    Best to get it out of the way early on - if you grow to like somebody a lot, and then discover that they're irredeemably crap in the sack, you're in a world of trouble.

    By Blogger LC, at 4:58 PM  

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