Sunday, April 02, 2006

It's just as well I've got a sense of humour

The tragi-comic saga that is my utterly hopeless love-life continues apace. I have just been dumped by someone I wasn’t even going out with.


Tuesday lunchtime - myself and Mr A-Bit-Older had another very chaste date. Afterwards, I had decided two things:

1 – Maybe he was just being friendly (he’s been giving me advice about work).
2 – I didn’t actually fancy him that much, so it’s just as well.

But I kept getting emails from him, he still seemed quite keen…

Then, yesterday, this popped up in my inbox…

"....Talking of availability I'm afraid I've dug myself into a bit of a hole/been a complete idiot by failing to get around to mentioning that I am actually with someone at the moment.

You and I always seemed to be in places where there were quite a lot of people... then I put off phoning. Not clever.

We're off to India for a fortnight tomorrow, so I can't put off telling you any longer (or make any drastic decisions). Life does seem to get complicated at times. Well, mine does at any rate... Perhaps you're wiser!"



Well, it does explain the no-snogging and his friend tagging along. But, if he’s attached, WHY THE FUCK DID HE ASK ME OUT IN THE FIRST PLACE? And why, if he wasn’t trying to get in my pants, didn’t he just throw the phrase "my girlfriend" in at some point?


  • because men don't leave relationships unless they've got someone else to go to. Generally speaking, only women leave for the sake of leaving. Men will stick it out until something better comes along. I reckon he was 'trying you out' He was testing the water and now decided it wasn't worth leaving his current girl, after all. He didn't mention his girlfriend earlier, as he didn't want to blow any chance with you.

    By Anonymous undercovercookie, at 1:42 PM  

  • Spin - maybe he was just toying around with the idea of trying to get a bit on the side but thought better of it.

    UC - rubbish. I've known lots of women who stay in unhappy relationships rather than be alone. And I know at least one bloke who's ended relationships with nothing better to go to.

    By Blogger LC, at 2:59 PM  

  • my lord that first post is utter bollocks. In fact, far more common is that class of male who bail at the first sign of trouble, rather than hang on until they can make a smooth transition to the next girl.

    methinks he originally intended on worming his way into your pants before having an attack of conscience.

    By Anonymous riddledwiththepox, at 3:55 PM  

  • Reply telling him he must have gotten entirely the wrong end of the stick and who did he think he was? Did he honestly think he had a chance with you in the first place?

    Add some tutting to this along with the words "You men, you're all the same."

    By Blogger Fuckkit, at 5:50 PM  

  • Yeah, a candid email back to him that re-uses most of the text in your post (including the sweary words in capital letters) is probably the way forward...

    undercovercookie - everyone has said it already but I must throw in my 2p: that is complete shite.

    By Blogger Ant, at 7:03 PM  

  • Yep sounds like a tosser - so all good in the long run. People like that give men a bad name.

    By Blogger hen, at 10:33 PM  

  • Strange stuff indeed.

    If he was trying to test the water maybe he would have mentioned his current girlfriend "who doesn't understand him" at the earliest opportunity.

    By Blogger Billy, at 10:33 PM  

  • I be really pissed off and tell him so. Nothing like a little blunt honesty.

    By Anonymous kyahgirl, at 1:05 AM  

  • "Dear Mr Older Man.

    No worries about not mentioning your girlfriend. I can't comnplain, I didn't mention my exceedingly protective older brothers, Knuckles and Lumpy. When you return from India, they will be waiting outside your house. Be nice. If you're very lucky, they'll only be carrying pliers, a couple of stun-guns and the slightly less concentrated nitric acid.

    I also have your girlfriend's phone number.

    Kind regards,


    By Blogger Tim Footman, at 1:57 AM  

  • The same thing happened to me the other day, actually. I was sitting in a cafe and an old lady came over to me and said: "Have you finished with that tea, we want to close up in a moment."

    I replied: "I have indeed, madam. But you do realise I have a girlfriend, don't you?"

    I like to get it in early to clear up any misunderstandings but, gratefully, it hasn't stopped our secret assignments up the Legion.

    By Blogger Wyndham, at 11:05 AM  

  • What a vain twat, assuming you're going to be upset that he's chosen to stay with whoever it is he's with. Personally I wouldn't even bother replying.

    By Blogger patroclus, at 2:12 PM  

  • I responded straightaway. Very cheerily. Well I had to, he was off to India the next bloody day.

    "No worries," I said, "I thought you were just being friendly. You're a bit out of my age range anyhow!"

    I was tempted to go with "You're waaaay too old" (but I'm too nice).

    By Blogger Spinsterella, at 2:28 PM  

  • a, i think undercovercookie may have a point

    b, tim footman is a genius

    c, well done spin for the suggestion that he's too old for you anyhow. pure class! i LOVE it.

    d, is this idiot related to the guy who sent me love poetry for v-day and then said he just wanted to be friends?

    By Blogger Chaucer's Bitch, at 6:19 PM  

  • Mental capacity of a flip-flop. That's the best I can come up with.

    By Blogger My Life Is God's Comic Strip, at 12:02 AM  

  • ooo, spinsterella, you did good! the 'out of my age range' thang with the cheery little exclaimation point! perfect.

    By Blogger First Nations, at 3:40 AM  

  • "he was off to India the next bloody day."

    ....hmmmmmm. Tiffin calls, you gotta go.....

    How are we gonna get you those carpet burns now, eh Spin?

    Love on ya,


    By Blogger Robert A. Swipe, at 10:59 AM  

  • It's weird when this sort of thing happens - you didn't actually want to go out with them so you're relieved but also feel oddly insulted. Clearly someone who's not as attractive as you ought to fancy you, they shouldn't get to do the rejecting.
    Or maybe that's just me. I feel I've exposed myself as slightly vain by that comment.

    By Blogger belladona, at 12:44 PM  

  • I have Taken Against this gentlemen.

    We, The Gays, have decided he won't be able to get a decent haircut in this town for the next six months as pennance.

    By Blogger Lee, at 5:05 PM  

  • Ahhh...that post from wyndham has really cheered me up. You're much better off with older women. They know what they want. Carpet burns, or a nice cup of tea. You get it straight with OAPs.

    By Blogger looby, at 3:39 PM  

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