Tuesday, April 04, 2006


I’m on the fence with beards. Uncharacteristic, I know.

I like stubble. A lot. It’s almost a pre-requisite. Stubble says – I’m not a suit. Plus it sorts the men from the boys-who-can't-grow-it...

But I don’t like goatees. Goatees involve regular shaving and getting it just right and all that, which is waaaay too much standing in front of the mirror for my liking. And also because the Psycho* had a goatee, which scarred me for life.

But beards? I'm just not quite sure...

I like Guy Garvey's beard. And Grandaddy's beards. But these examples, are, clearly, Beards On Men I Will Never Fancy Whether They Have Beards Or Not. So, what would happen if a bloke I liked the look of grew one?

Well, funny you should ask….

Y’see, this bloke I did a bit of work with a few weeks ago caught my eye. Tall, skinny, scruffy, interesting-creative-job, and, stubbled. Oh yes**.

But after a couple of weeks, the stubble hit that point where it can only be described as a beard, and, I’m not sure anymore....****

* One day, I'll get around to telling you a few stories about this lovely chap. Many stiff drinks will be required.

** Realistically, no. He’s really quiet. Wouldn’t last five seconds. Poor bloke.

*** Actually, I still would.


  • beards shave off.

    love love love furbears.

    By Blogger First Nations, at 8:37 PM  

  • I'm rarely anywhere outside stubble and beard. Given my lack of hair around the (face)cheeks I probably should shave more often. It's been dangerously close to ZZ Topism too often!

    Your guy sounds like he has an attitude like mine.

    It's just too much effort to shave in the morning!

    By Blogger Steve, at 11:42 PM  

  • Prefer stubble, though the Johnny Depp goatee is pretty hot. I wouldn't have a problem with him standing in front of my mirror in the morning, oh no....
    On the other hand, when I was six, my dad shaved off his beard and I didn't talk to him for a week. What can I say?

    By Blogger No Shit Sherlock, at 5:24 AM  

  • Seeing beards make me uncomfortable. I cant help thinking how hot his face must be and it makes me itch.

    Beards are bad and wrong.

    By Blogger Fuckkit, at 7:24 AM  

  • beards OK (if kept free of dandruff and other such crud), stubble fine to look at but horrific to kiss. It's like sucking face with a sander and over the years I've become quite fond of my top layer of skin

    By Blogger GreatSheElephant, at 8:25 AM  

  • I generally favour a couple of days worth of stubble, mostly because I can't be arsed to shave any more than two or three times a week.

    Also, I've long since given up trying to second guess whether women prefer clean shaven, stubble or goatee, because as you've clearly demonstrated, none of you actually know yourselves.

    By Blogger LC, at 9:43 AM  

  • I think you should either have no beard at all or a full beard; none of that goatee nonsense. All or nothing.

    I've tried to grow a beard before (just to see what it would be like) but after about a week and a half it's really scratchy and horrible. If you leave it longer it's okay, but I can never be bothered.

    By Blogger Billy, at 9:53 AM  


    By Blogger Datingmaster, Jerusalem, at 1:22 PM  

  • This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    By Blogger Datingmaster, Jerusalem, at 1:23 PM  

  • Oh look. Datingmaster bothered to read the title of my post before pimping his own rubbish blog. Don't go there, kids.

    Anyhow, back to facial hair. I feel obliged to point out to you all that listening to anything I have to say is a really bad idea.

    A few year ago, my friend Tom grew some stubble. I thought he looked great. Y'see, he's blonde and pale and has a really big ugly head.

    But his stubble was darker and made him look that bit more manly, and actually quite attractive.

    Or so I thought. Absolutely NOBODY agreed with me. Most women thought the stubble made him look repulsive.

    So. Well. I know nothing...

    By Blogger Spinsterella, at 2:39 PM  

  • I'm with GSE - stubble definitely looks sexy (see Sawyer from Lost) but is horrible for kissing. There's nothing like losing all the skin from your chin to make a girl feel hot.

    By Blogger frangelita, at 3:11 PM  

  • Goatee's are nice if they're on anything but a camp queen. Manyly types, yes. Mincing, prancing queens, no.

    Or a woman.

    I like goatee's and beards - not those full on, I'm a werewolf types, just normal beards.

    Bald faces are mostly boring.

    Unlike bald pubic areas which are just funny.

    By Anonymous Piggy and Tazzy, at 3:14 PM  

  • come over and discussif food is a substitute for sex

    By Blogger Datingmaster, Jerusalem, at 4:10 PM  

  • @ datingmaster

    It's like someone has wandered into a party with cum all over his trousers and no-one knows where to look.

    Give it up fella!

    (beards in winter=good, beards in summer=bad)

    By Anonymous lethe, at 5:06 PM  

  • The stubble-rash thing is an important issue.

    I've always found it depended on technique, rather than stubble. There's only ever been one guy who gave me bad stubble rash every time I saw him, and he was clean shaven (if a bit, um, passionate).

    Though, as you may have noticed, I'm not exactly the most delicate girl....

    By Blogger Spinsterella, at 5:37 PM  

  • What about Duane Allman-style moustaches? Y'know, the early-70s slide guitar rock god look?

    (came to your site via pootergeek btw)

    By Blogger HolyhosesRob, at 8:09 AM  

  • while duane allman was quite profoundly ugly, he was also a God with a guitar (has anyone heard his slide playing on Aretha Franklin's version of the Weight?). therefore, any attempts to be more like him should be encouraged.

    By Anonymous riddledwiththepox, at 8:24 AM  

  • moustaches. That's an entirely different thing. Full set or nothing, chaps. None of this Jason King or Abraham Lincoln crap. That's just freaky.

    Nothing on datingmaster's abomination suggests he is old enough to grow a beard.

    By Blogger GreatSheElephant, at 11:45 AM  

  • An ex-boyfriend of mine once grew a beard, much to my disgust (it was a goatee). He refused to shave it off, and when he finally did, I didn't find him attractive any more - didn't like the shape of his face.

    By Blogger Karen, at 11:06 AM  

  • smooth is good.
    stubble is good.
    beard is good.
    'stache is good.
    i'm not bothered, really. as long as facial hair doesn't have little bits of dried food in it, i'm not picky. hygeine is everything.

    By Blogger Chaucer's Bitch, at 9:51 AM  

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