Saturday, March 25, 2006

When is a date not a date?

When he's driving, so not drinking.
When his friend comes along for the gig.
When he's a forty-something divorcee.
When there's no snogging.

I don't know. His friend went straight home after the gig, so me and him went for one final half. He did offer me a lift home, but my house is actually closer than where his motor was parked so I declined. He kissed me on the cheek as we said goodbye - that's it.

I had a really nice night, and the band were great, but I don't know if he's not interested, or if he's taking it really slowly. I'll give him an email saying thanks and see how things go. I certainly like him enough to repeat the performance.

Oddly enough, on Friday afternoon, I got a call from another forty-somehing divorced guy who had a spare ticket (this time for Love's Labour Lost). Well. It just goes to show you that the best way to get asked out is to lounge on the sofa all day reading Dostoyevsky. When I said I was already busy he suggested meeting up for a drink on Sunday afternoon instead. I've already been out for a strictly platonic drink with him, (though I'm not sure if his motives are completely platonic).

Anyhow, I'm off out tonight with a friend so I've warned him that I may be too hungover to move tomorrow.

God. Where are all the dirty, demanding thirty-somethings?

Anyhow, this is what a date should involve:

Extreme misbehaving
Carpet burns

(Sorry. S'been a while)


  • why is it that men always want to go out with women 15 years younger than them?

    I do NOT want to have to start playing with guys in their mid 50s. *Shouts, stamps*.

    By Blogger GreatSheElephant, at 2:14 PM  

  • >>>God. Where are all the dirty, demanding thirty-somethings?

    Brighton (well, Hove actually).

    By Blogger LC, at 2:43 PM  

  • Let me get this straight:
    -He was smart enough to not get trashed because he was driving home;
    -He conducted himself like a gentleman and kissed you on the cheek at the end of the evening, rather than insulting you with the implication that he was only interested in you for sex;
    -You like him enough to go out again.

    Sounds like a class act to me, gracious and mature. Give it time; if the attraction is mutual the contortionism and carpet burns will come with time.

    By Blogger Chaucer's Bitch, at 4:09 PM  

  • he's playing it smooooooth. this one has it all planned out three moves ahead of the game.
    but hey, you didn't wake up in a strange hotel room minus a kidney so you came out ahead of the game, i figure.

    By Blogger First Nations, at 5:32 PM  

  • Alcohol, Extreme misbehaving, Carpet burns, Shame, Screaming, Contortion, Gasping, Swearing, Blood, Sweat and Scarring

    What? All on the first date? Blimey. Pass me the smelling salts, I think I'm gonna faint!

    By Blogger The Hopeless Romantic, at 8:59 PM  

  • “Alcohol Extreme misbehaving Carpet burns Shame Screaming Contortion Gasping Swearing Blood Sweat Scarring”

    Blimey! Sounds more like a lucky escape from Peter Sutcliffe.

    I went out with a single, intelligent, funny, confident, well traveled male friend in his early 30s tonight. “I don’t understand why I don’t have a girlfriend” he said. “Have you actually asked anyone out?” I asked “Hmm… no - maybe that is the problem.”

    By Blogger hen, at 2:58 AM  

  • GSE made a good point about men always wanting to go out with women who are 15 years younger than them. I hate it when divorced/separated middle aged men start dating again and say "well, I really like her, we get on well ... ahem, (cough, mumble)she's a bit younger than us". In other words, she is a 19 year old who's never had a father figure in her life. Creepy.

    Anyway, I suppose 30 and 40 something isn't THAT much of a gap. If he's a divorcee he's probably had his fingers burned and is nervous about dating, so he's taking the cautionary approach. Going by what you've said he sounds interested, anyway ...

    By Blogger Betty, at 1:10 PM  

  • I don't agree that men always want to go out with women who are 15 years - or indeed, any years - younger than them. Pretty much all of my relationships/"encounters" etc. have been with younger men.

    I'm not necessarily sure this is a good thing, however, and also I've now made myself sound like some kind of predatory harridan. Great.

    Also, the spare-gig-tickets thing is a social minefield. Minefield, I tell you. Nothing is ever certain in the realm of the spare-gig-ticket. Believe me. Ask him out for a drink/dinner/anywhere where live music is not involved, and see what happens then. Good luck!

    By Blogger patroclus, at 2:44 PM  

  • At first I thought the friend coming along made it sound a bit odd, but I suppose it makes it less heavy and serious for the first time.

    Not all men want to go out with girls 15 years younger than themselves. I'm not prejudiced about the age gap. I'd have no objection at all to someone say, 12 or 13 years younger that me.

    By Blogger looby, at 4:25 PM  

  • lc, what the fuck have you done with your blog? And why?

    What am I going to DO all day now!

    By Blogger Spinsterella, at 4:37 PM  

  • My thoughts exactly. Come back, LC, or I'll get Bob Swipe to hang around outside your house, impersonating local news anchors.

    By Blogger Tim Footman, at 4:58 PM  

  • I'd settle for a date. Any date. Although I have to say your list is spot on...

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:14 PM  

  • Blood! Scarring!

    I'm afraid!

    By Blogger Steve, at 10:22 PM  

  • Which Dostoevsky was it? You never know...

    By Blogger BiB, at 12:01 AM  

  • sounds like a perfectly fine first date to me. Chaucer's bitch is spot on!

    By Blogger Kyahgirl, at 5:24 AM  

  • "Alcohol, Extreme misbehaving, Carpet burns, Shame, Screaming, Contortion, Gasping, Swearing, Blood, Sweat and Scarring"

    Yep, I go through pretty much the same trying to get out of a pair of tights myself Spin. Although, I guess it serves me right for not letting the previous occupant out first.

    Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a regional news bulletin to present....

    Love on ya,


    p.s. would it be disrespectful to ask if the bans was any good? Review please Spin, in your own good....

    By Blogger Robert A. Swipe, at 12:24 PM  

  • ...bans should read band, naturellement...

    By Blogger Robert A. Swipe, at 12:25 PM  

  • "lc, what the fuck have you done with your blog? And why?"

    Ditto that, lc.

    (Esp. as you haven't even linked to The Show.....[marches off Mutley fashion muttersing "sahen fashen rashen...etc])

    Come on, you know you want to...

    Love on ya,


    By Blogger Robert A. Swipe, at 2:57 PM  

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