Tuesday, March 07, 2006

First proper Hen-do Invite. Not best pleased.

An invite to a Hen-Do* in London thudded onto my door mat on Saturday. The itinerary is as follows:

Friday night - Pizza Express Jazz Club

Jazz. *shudders* The literature states that Jamie Cullum and Amy Winehouse have played there as if that’s a good thing. But still...pizza. Red wine. Good friends that I don’t see often enough. I can handle that.

Saturday night – Carwash

Disco and Funk. *shudders violently* The dictatorial dress code includes ‘bikini glam and jacuzzi chic’ and ‘80’s work-out’. The OUT dress list states ‘anything that makes you look silly’. Does anyone else spot a contradiction here? They have parking for coaches and, oh god, oh god, oh god, limoes.

Sunday Afternoon – The Sanctuary at Covent Garden

The Sanctuary is a spa. I’ve never been to a spa, but it would seem that your entry fee of seventy frigging quid entitles you to sit around in a bathrobe all day, and, er, that’s it. But that’s what I do in my own living room every Sunday for nowt. Fuck that for a game of darts.

This whole extravangza is costing £189 – and that’s before transport, food, and of course, prodigious quantities of alcohol. Crikey. Don't they know how poor I am?

(Right, lc has just pissed all over my hideously expensive hen-do story with a much better and infinitely more lavish one. Bugger.)

*'Do' is British parlance for party, and a 'hen' is a lady who is soon to be married. Men are stags. I think in the US they call them Bachelor(ette) parties?


  • um
    whats a hendo?

    By Blogger First Nations, at 11:40 PM  

  • oooh, right, will explain for international audience...

    By Blogger Spinsterella, at 7:12 AM  

  • A Hen Do, christ. I presume the long white Limo will be in place; I presume you've got some dog-rough (but enthusiastic and arseholed) mates who'll hang out the windows flashing their tits at every poor bloke; waving wands and wearing fairy wings; then, later in the night, feeling the arse of, and snogging, any man who happens to walk past, before simulating sex with a blow-up doll.

    See you there, then.

    By Blogger Wyndham, at 10:36 AM  

  • For Carwash, you can get a bikini with WILLIES all over it.

    By Blogger Miss Meep, at 1:46 PM  

  • This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    By Blogger Damian, at 3:36 PM  

  • Don't miss Sanctuary - especially the swing over the pool. If only there was a place like Sanctuary for men.

    (Actually, no, if there was a place like Sanctuary for men, it would be taken over by the gay community in about 45 minutes and the majority of us would be back where we are now, either not allowed to in because we're men, or happily invited, but unwilling because it might be confronting, rather than relaxing.)

    But go to Sanctuary, you'll love it. The girls I know who have been there say that is worth every penny. Perfect for the day after the night before.

    By Blogger Damian, at 3:39 PM  

  • I'd need sanctuary after pizza express jazz club.
    £189? Thats ridiculous. I'm pretty sure my mates would tell me to f off I was the 'hen'.
    I hope your night goes with the minimum of l-plate action...Have fun ;-)

    By Blogger The Lady Muck, at 5:17 PM  

  • wyndham you old perv! :-)

    By Anonymous kyahgirl, at 5:53 PM  

  • Cry off with a diplomatic illness and watch Pauline Calf's hen do eight or nine times instead. Cheaper and more intellectually fulfilling.

    By Blogger Tim Footman, at 6:26 PM  

  • kyah - less of the old!

    By Blogger Wyndham, at 7:24 PM  

  • £189! bloody hell!

    now, see, this irritates the heck out of me

    people getting married want you to spend £200 on the hen/stag do, then there's the wedding itself (outfit, travel, hotel, present etc.)

    i think it's an outrage and people must TAKE A STAND

    me, i had a quiet dinner in a not too pricey restaurant with half a dozen friends then a bit of dancing

    and i did my sister's hen do for £25 per person inc dinner, dancing minibus there and back

    oh and the sanctuary? not worth it

    i mean, lovely and all, but paying £70 with no food/treatments included - get outta here

    By Blogger Urban Chick, at 8:07 PM  

  • sorry, not a 'dancing minibus'

    but 'dancing, minibus' IYKWIM

    By Blogger Urban Chick, at 8:08 PM  

  • Imagine what the outrage feels like if you're an unemployed spinster, eh? (I'm gutted that you didn't manage a dancing minibus though UC.)

    I'll be opting out of The Sanctuary. Flatmate's been and say's it's shite.

    By Blogger Spinsterella, at 8:27 PM  

  • I have to recommend Carwash, but only if you are prepared to get really quite drunk and wear that pink glittery cowboy hat you mentioned on Patroclus's blog.

    By Blogger frangelita, at 10:17 PM  

  • What's a hen do?" It lays eggs. Tadaah.

    By Blogger DavetheF, at 6:12 PM  

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