Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Famous* people I am related** to

*sort of

**distantly. Very distantly

Christopher Logue My second cousin twice removed and our greatest living poet. He was a contemporary of the mighty Phillip Larkin and hung out with Sam Beckett, but is much better than the likes of them by virtue of the fact that he’s not dead yet.(I'd like to say I had longevity on my side, but all my grandparents were long-dead by the time Thatcher came to power, so maybe not.) He started off writing pornography, doesn’t like children very much, and is a lefty-anti-war type. And he edited Pseuds Corner - how impressive is that? Mind you, he has chosen to spend almost fifty years of his life re-writing the Iliad, which is a slightly bonkers thing to do, if you ask me.

Kelly LeBrock Star of The Woman in Red and Weird Science and absolutely fuck-all in the twenty years since. I’m not sure how we’re related. But close enough that my Auntie Maggie (deceased) was friends with Kelly LeBrock’s mother, so I know that Kelly’s mum was very annoyed when Kelly got divorced. Like all Irish women of her generation she is a Good Catholic who believes that getting divorced is a Very Bad Thing which means that you will end up in Hell with The Protestants. Mitigating circumstances, such as wife-beating, child abuse or even the involvement of Steven Segal count for nothing.


  • At least I've heard of one of them (sorry, I'm a heathen, have never heard of the poet). Me, the closest thing I get to fame is the brother of my mum's cousin's dad who was an MP, and who was on the telly once.

    By Blogger Cleavers, at 2:46 AM  

  • Just think how history could have been different if Gene Wilder had caught a glimpse of Christopher Logue flashing his skimpy red undergarments as he aired his nether regions above a grate, and fallen passionately in love with him. Would Stevie Wonder have written a song about that?

    Or, alternatively, if Kelly LeBrock had worked for Private Eye. And, indeed, rewritten The Iliad.

    By Blogger Tim Footman, at 7:18 AM  

  • I love these tenous links a la the Kevin Bacon game...

    We have some family friends whose cousin is married to the daughter of Prunella Scales.

    Couldn't be closer, me and Pru...

    By Blogger Ant, at 9:50 AM  

  • A bloke who was chatting me up in a club a looong time ago said I looked just like Kelly LeBrock. I didn't know who she was as I only watched arty depressing Polish movies set in grim high rise apartments in those days.

    I should stress that I've never gone around flashing my Alan Whickers to all and sundry.

    By Blogger Betty, at 10:07 AM  

  • Kelly Le Brock has been in fuck all since those two films because she's a shite actress.

    Probably better than me.

    But I'd be cheaper to hire.

    By Anonymous Piggy and Tazzy, at 10:13 AM  

  • >>Or, alternatively, if Kelly LeBrock had worked for Private Eye. And, indeed, rewritten The Iliad.<<

    Tim Footman, you are officially a comedy genius.

    By Blogger patroclus, at 11:42 AM  

  • Spinny,

    seen this???

    You're in there, lady!

    Love on ya,


    p.s. Do you think you could furnish me with some of uncle Christopher's porno scribbling. One gets so easily jaded and as one gets older even 3D viewings of "The Stud" can start to pale... Thanks hon.

    By Blogger Robert A. Swipe, at 2:34 PM  

  • geeze. i'm not even related to the people i'm related to.
    ...i ran into John Travolta once -literally- and bounced him off a wall pretty good. so much for a dancers reflexes, eh, Johnnie? really happened. thats it.

    By Blogger First Nations, at 6:57 PM  

  • My mum went out with Frances Rossi from Status quo. Now that's something to boast about... or not.

    By Blogger The Lady Muck, at 9:35 PM  

  • muck - any chance that you might in fact then be related to the Quo? because that would just be too cool.

    One of my friend's is a cousin of Mischa Barton off the OC. Incredibly irritating, yet quite stunning, too. That's Mischa, not my friend, btw.

    By Anonymous riddledwiththepox, at 7:54 AM  

  • Erm... I'm related to cricketing legend Dennis Compton. A fact which I probably ought to bandy around a bit on blogs other than this one, come to think of it..

    By Blogger Pashmina, at 2:24 PM  

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