Monday, January 09, 2006

The Numbers Game

For some years I was puzzled by a strange discrepancy. Virtually all of my male friends reckon that they have lost count of the number of women they've slept with, but all the girls of my acquaintence know exactly what their number is. With one notable exception*, all of my female friends have notched up somewhere between five and twenty conquests.

So how could all the boys have lost count? Surely, even if your maths is really bad, you've got to get well into the hundreds before you've truly reached the point where you can't even put a ball-park figure on it. How can this happen? Is there a very small number of women going round shagging thousands of men?

Then I was enlightened.

When I first met my friend Tom, he said "I've not slept with that many people, only about twelve". (I thought that 12 was a fairly respectable number for someone just out of uni, who had had a girlfriend for several years, but that's beside the point). Approximately one year, and exactly one conquest later, Tom was telling all and sundry that he had "like, totally lost count".


Men are all either incapable of counting beyond thirteen, or else they're all talking a load of bollocks.



  • definitely talking bollocks

    of course they have kept a count

    twelve, though and just out of uni? that equates to 'sex fiend' in my scale (but that's probably because i wasted four years of uni with three 10-day-wonders and then mr chick)

    the rest, as they say, is history or herstory

    By Blogger Urban Chick, at 1:15 PM  

  • 85??????!!!

    do tell....

    By Blogger surly girl, at 1:44 PM  

  • Aha, it all makes sense now.

    It's probably just a code you have to crack.

    "Lost count" means anything in two digits.

    By Blogger Swedish Girl, at 1:50 PM  

  • well, so many of them confuse the shagging and the masturbating....

    By Blogger Kyahgirl, at 4:19 PM  

  • Well if you have to know - when a woman asks you that you get stuck in a logical contradiction trying to think of something say that will imply lots of women find you attractive but will not imply you shag everything in a skirt. "Lost count" is the escape button to get you out of the infinite loop which would cause your head to explode.

    Basically "lost count" means - "I can't think of an answer that will make you more likely to shag me" or more likely they have actually lost count.

    By Blogger hen, at 5:59 PM  

  • hen, you made me laugh. That is such an eloquent insight into the male psyche!

    By Blogger Kyahgirl, at 7:48 PM  

  • true

    By Blogger Kirses, at 9:15 PM  

  • This is absolutely the best post ever! We were having a conversation about this very thing the other night. It went on for minutes.*


    By Blogger Wyndham, at 9:50 PM  

  • Well, I always thought the "lost count" thing was a bit of male macho wank, as it always seemed to emerge when there was a group of blokes together all trying to outdo one another in the talking-shite department.

    Tom's "12" was most likely an exaggeration as well, eh?

    85 girl is my gorgeous fellow-spinster flatmate. I'll tell you all about her when I get the chance. She is a bit older then me so has had a few years to rack up the conquests.

    (But still, 85!!!)

    By Blogger Spinsterella, at 10:42 PM  

  • "Lost Count" is most definitely wank. And hen's summation is exactly right - it's an all-encompassing statement that gives the guy wriggle-room depending on what shaggable female is asking the question...

    On saying that, any male or female that readily broadcasts their conquest numbers to the world (no matter how low or high) gets on my tits...

    By Blogger Ant, at 9:57 AM  

  • Pretty much what others have said. I know I've *ahem* "Lost count".

    By Blogger Steve, at 1:15 PM  

  • ..it's quite simple Spin.

    We use binary.

    By Blogger Robert A. Swipe, at 4:47 PM  

  • On the other hand, how can you keep track of 85 conquests? Does gorgeous fellow-spinster flatmate have a notch system on her bedpost? (in which case I presume she's whittled it down to nothing).

    By Blogger Tabby Rabbit, at 9:47 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home