Monday, January 30, 2006

Does size matter?

One day I'm going to answer this question for once and for all. In the meantime here's an article from today's Guardian on the very same subject. If you can't be arsed reading it, the highlights are:

Men born with abnormally large penises almost invariably find that their first sexual experiences are with men. So that's where they all are.

Mention of a man who pulls trucks along with his foreskin as a means to spiritual enlightenment. What?
And, on penis enhancement surgery: These lengthening procedures alter the length of the penis when flaccid; there is no "proportional" effect when erect. Thus penis enlargement is termed "locker-room cosmetic" - in other words, the big dick is for the benefit of other men as they undress at the gym.


  • Boys will be boys.

    By Blogger Fuckkit, at 10:35 PM  

  • Apparently a lead weight and a rubber band work wonders.

    By Blogger garfer, at 9:06 AM  

  • Reminds me of the Irvine Welsh short story about the cruel bitch and the selfish bastard:

    CB: "Who do you expect to satisfy with that thing?"

    SB: "Myself."

    By Blogger LC, at 10:57 AM  

  • sorry gaffer, but none of the rubber bands, weights, suction pumps or stretching excercises have ever been shown to increase size. Renowned skeptics Penn and Teller did an episode of "Bullshit!" (season 1 episode 6) where they completely disproved every non-surgical method of penish enlargement.


    But seriously, it really isn't the size of our yacht that matters; it's the motion of the ocean, baby!

    By Blogger Chaucer's Bitch, at 2:01 PM  

  • Did you see that doc on channel four last night, the man with two foot testes...? gave me nightmares that did.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:34 PM  

  • Hmm, disturbing, very disturbing.

    By Blogger frangelita, at 11:23 AM  

  • reminds me of a mike reid joke:

    woman: cor int your organ small?

    man: well its never played to a cathedral before..

    By Blogger Kirses, at 11:48 AM  

  • Apparently an old trick used by actors who have to appear on a drafty stage naked is to smear the penis with a toothpaste/water solution, which makes it appear red and swollen. Best not to use the whole tube though.

    By Blogger Wyndham, at 1:15 PM  

  • I watched the programme on C4 about this last night. Bleugh. I think I've spontaneously become a lesbian.

    By Blogger GreatSheElephant, at 12:59 PM  

  • How is a large penis meant to influence one's sexuality? Also it seems entirely the wrong way round to me. Vaginas = stretchy, bumholes = tight and prone to splitting.

    By Anonymous Homer, at 7:36 PM  

  • Homer - there you are!

    Can't believe you've deleted your blog - you've just made me splutter my vino all over the place.

    I didn't manage to catch the documentary, but I've a funny feeling I didn't miss much. I don't want to think too much about 2 foot testes (I'm only 5'4. I'd drown).

    By Blogger Spinsterella, at 8:03 PM  

  • Oh god, that programme was quite unpleasant. The most disturbing bit was definitely the guy who had injected his balls and penis with silicon such that his genitals basically looked like three very large lumps.
    I had to look at my boyfriends bick for a while after to recover from that experience.

    By Blogger Loganoc, at 12:20 PM  

  • Bick? What the hell did I mean by that? Well, you can probably figure it out. It's NOT my private nickname for it, in any case.

    By Blogger Loganoc, at 12:21 PM  

  • As Dorothy Parker once said "I fucking bet THAT peanut has 7 types of urine on it."

    By Blogger Magic Beans, at 3:07 PM  

  • This is utterly filthy. I am shrivelling with embarrassment. A woman I know was talking about a workmate with an unfeasibly long dong and added as an aside: "Mind you, in my experience those don't get any larger when erect." I do hope this is true. We males are sensitive too you know.

    By Anonymous Dave F, at 8:14 PM  

  • years ago I saw a documentary (out of the UK-you people are so racy) on the size of penises. It was part of a series on the Knowledge Network of all things. Anyway, this cheeky woman actually managed to round up a group of men who would be willing to be filmed naked, while not erect, and upon achieving an erection. She had them measured and compared before and after. The conclusion was indeed that, in most cases, they are all about the same size when erect, no matter the difference when not.

    In another part of the series she asked a load of guys at a pub to mark on a diagram where you'd find a clitoris. Most failed dismally. It was quite enlightening.

    By Blogger Kyahgirl, at 3:48 PM  

  • kyahgirl -- thank you, that has lightened my load. Oh er, no, I mean relieved -- no that's not it, erm, I feel better now.

    By Anonymous Dave F, at 9:34 AM  

  • so glad to be able to set your *cough* 'mind' at ease dave.

    By Blogger Kyahgirl, at 3:50 PM  

  • If I ever get around to posting about Big Dick Nick (um, my flatmates gave him that name not me er, um, maybe later...

    By Blogger Spinsterella, at 9:15 PM  

  • 5 inches erect is the average. I do like a big dick though... to be honest.
    I'm sure all men measure it (at least once).

    By Blogger Trinity, at 12:47 PM  

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