Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Why I don't do internet dating - part 1 (in what might be quite a long series)

A friend of mine went on an internet date with a guy who was wearing his jumper tucked into his trousers, and had a mobile phone holster.

Being a non-judgemental, optimistic type, she didn't turn on her heel and run away before he spotted her. She, unlike me, is a very nice person. Perhaps he had hidden depths...

But whaddaya know, he turned out to be a complete twat as well. He took a call within five minutes, saying something along the lines of "yeah, down the boozer with a bird".

Oddly enough, he didn't get a second date.


  • ewww, she didn't stick around to finish the date did she?
    ewww. that's it.

    By Blogger Kyahgirl, at 2:50 PM  

  • Mobile phone holsters. You might as well carry around a big sign saying Wanker on it.

    By Blogger Wyndham, at 5:01 PM  

  • I liked the mobile shoulder holster that Gareth in the Office had.

    Every wanker should have one.

    By Blogger garfer, at 8:41 PM  

  • Gawd do people like that really exist - and hope to breed one day?

    Bloody hell, might even succeed (with enough persistence). Now that's a depressing thought.

    By Blogger Tabby Rabbit, at 9:19 PM  

  • Yo Spinny!

    I wanted to thank you all for your support over the last year (...I'm afraid I'm not in a position to be able to give it back to you yet, but the pain has certainly eased....and for that I am SOOOOOOO grateful!)

    In order to repay the favour, I have written you a large speaking role in this year's Swipe Show Christmas panto. All you need to do is click here and speak largely....Your bit is tomorrow, but heck - you know what a shameless self-publicist I am...I'll probably post you a reminder thewn too to really hack you off....

    I do hope you enjoy it! And I'd just like to say that any resemblance between you and your fictional representation in the play is purely speculative - although I'm guessing that the chances that you do indeed go like the clappers and do several things with your toes and a marshmallow that you could be executed for in Thailand are fairly high...

    Merry Christmas you wonderful old Building and Loan!!

    Love on ya,


    pckmpnkw?? I know I have a first class honours degree, but really....

    By Blogger Robert A. Swipe, at 2:46 PM  

  • I don't do marshmallows Bob, I'm a vegetarian.


    By Blogger Spinsterella, at 12:01 PM  

  • If she'd have looked closer he'd have had his shirt tucked into his underwear.

    By Blogger MIKE DA HAT, at 4:41 PM  

  • Oh God, I wish I hadn't found this place. I've been internet dating lately. Boxing Day was excruciating thanks to an extended lunch (not with any encouragement from me) during which my latest contactee talked non-stop about her wonderful childhood, including the droll things she said to Mummy when she was three; turned out to be a racist bigot (Jewish joke in first 20 mins), and on and on ...

    You need incredible stamina and fortitude to keep repeating the experience, from first e-mail to last supper and I don't think I have it. Still got a few promising leads though ...

    By Anonymous Dave F, at 9:42 AM  

  • Um, internet dating on Boxing Day?

    Really doesn't bode well.

    By Blogger Spinsterella, at 1:16 PM  

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