Monday, December 05, 2005

My type - and how nothing is ever actually that clear-cut.

We've all got certain particular things we find attractive in the opposite sex. I'm not talking about the really important stuff here (like ferocious intelligence, very strong personality, and really good teeth). No, this post is just about all the superficial shit I can't help liking in a man.

  • Height. Predictable I know, but I have gone out with a completely disproportionate number of really tall men. It's not been through deliberate effort, in principIe, I wouldn't rule out dating someone shorter than me (and I'm only 5'4). But still, there's something about looking up to a man that appeals to me.
  • Must be hirsute. Not gorilla-like mind. Chest-hair good, back-hair, not quite so good. But still, (this might be a bit controversial) I think I'd choose a bit of back-hair over hairlessness. It's just all wrong. Smooth-chested guys give me the boke.
  • Dark hair/dark eyes. I guess it's because I'm a mousey pale-as-fuck Irishwoman with bog-standard blue eyes, but a guy with brown, or even better, really dark green eyes can make me weak at the knees. And the hair....dark curly hair is the way forward. From wavy dishevelled shag-heads to mad uncontrollable frizz like him outta the Dandy Warhols, it's all good.
  • Accessories - bicycles and glasses. Bikes, becuase it means they're probably not Clarkson fans, and riding a bike all day gives a man a very nice arse indeed. 'Specially in Bristol, we've got some damned steep hills round these parts. I don't know why I like glasses so much.
  • Body. I really like sinewey guys. Not skinny-skinny, but you know those men who are lean but muscular? Forearms are always a good indicator. Show me a dark, hairy, veiny forearm, and it's probable that I'll be fairly amenable to what's attached to it. I quite like bigger, fit men as well (not gym-bunny big though), as long as they have no body fat whatsoever. This might sound a bit fascist, but I just can't get along with fat at all. I can't do it - I won't do it - please, don't make me...
  • Scruffy and hungover looking. I don't like suits and well-behaved boys bore me to tears

So we've built up a bit of a composite picture here of My Perfect Man. A lean'n'lanky myopic, tousled scruff-bag with a bike. But then again...

...out on Saturday night, there was a bloke in the pub. He was short, really short, I'm talking about not much taller than me. He was almost completely bald, had quite bad acne scars, and the brightest, bluest eyes I have ever seen. This doesn't sound too promising, but I'm telling you, he was fucking gorgeous.

(He did catch my eye, but being utterly useless at flirting, I looked away in embarrassment and then ignored him till we left the pub)

Update: How could I have forgotten...

  • Sidies. Essential. Nothing worse than a man who shaves all the way till they're level with the top of his ears.
  • Northern accent. Ooooh, I do like a nice Northern accent. And I don't mind Welsh either. I've never dated a Welsh guy. But I'm off to Cardiff next week to visit the lovely Miss Meep, so who knows what might happen...


  • Oh my god. You have actually described one of my friends (let's call him T). he's tall; good covering of hair (not that I've checked out but you can tell); darkish hair; dark eyes; wavy hair; cycles everywhere (including down hills that make him the talk of the Lake District); and he never wears a suit. He's also very funny and happens to be single. Let me know if you're ever over in West London...

    By Blogger Tabby Rabbit, at 10:43 PM  

  • Dpn't know why, but a lot of men with bad acne scars seem to have incredible eyes. Is it something hormonal?

    By Blogger Betty, at 8:38 AM  

  • i used to only ever like long-haired scruffy men, but the minute i laid eyes on* the other half i changed my mind.

    *for "laid eyes on" read "stared at longingly across the office for 2 years before getting drunk on a work trip, propositioning him, leaving the ex, having an affair for 3 months and finally getting him all to myself a year ago". ahem.

    By Blogger surly girl, at 10:33 AM  

  • My "to-do" list is diametrically the opposite: fair-haired, (I am dark and olive skinned, that could be why - maybe attraction to opposites is a gene-pool thing?), squarely built, and NOT hairy.

    And usually I go for clean-cut, however the freshly-fucked look of slightly tousled hair is a panty-creamer for me. Oh, and a wee bit of 5-o'cock shadow works too...

    By Blogger Sadia, at 12:47 PM  

  • Hairy is a big no-no for me. I like a bit of bulk - something to grab onto in the heat of the moment. Skinny guys just don't do it for me.

    I'm so with you on the height thing, which can make for amusing couplings as I'm only 5'2".

    I also have a very unfortunate, completely unconcious tendency to famcy men who are married. For the most part it's me having a harmless crush. However, I ended up with the last one, he did leave her for me, but after 4 years together, he went back to her.


    Better single than in that again

    /rant over

    By Blogger Cleavers, at 4:11 PM  

  • ooh, I forgot about stubble. Stubble's very good...

    Don't do attached guys though, oh no. I'm an all-or-nothing kind of girl I guess..

    Can't believe all you women liking blondes/smoothies/bulk. Yeuch. (No offence to any slightly chubby, blonde, hair-free men out there.)

    Just as well we all like different things, eh?

    By Blogger Spinsterella, at 6:49 PM  

  • I think you should submit your preferences to a singles agency.
    You can inform of the results.

    By Blogger garfer, at 8:28 PM  

  • I like tall, fairly hairy and solidly built blokes with big shoulders - can't be dealing with blokes who might snap if I sit on them. Colouringwise, very blonde, sandy, ginger, mediterranean - all good. The only thing I don't go for the typical British dark blond or mouse colouring.

    By Blogger GreatSheElephant, at 10:08 PM  

  • I agree with all of that (my Superhero Tazzy is EXACTLY as you describe!).

    Except for the glasses - googles are a complete turn-off for me.

    And betty - men with acne DONT have incredible eyes... it's just that the acne is so disgusting that the eyes look good in comparison.

    That Surly Girl is such a tart, ain't she?

    By Anonymous Piggy and Tazzy, at 11:03 PM  

  • My type:

    1) Pulse
    2) Drunk

    By Blogger LC, at 1:05 AM  

  • oi! i'm not a tart.

    oh, alright then, it's a fair cop.

    I Am A Tart.

    By Blogger surly girl, at 11:15 AM  

  • A white stick is an important accessory for me.

    By Blogger hen, at 1:30 PM  

  • Your list is interesting spinsterella!
    I have things I like and don't like but it can all be changed as soon as a guy opens his mouth. If he's got a nice butt, great eyes, great smile, etc then talks like a jerk or an amoeba (do single celled animals talk?) then he might as well be Quasimoto.

    Why am I even comenting on this? I'm not looking but its oh so interesting to discuss the subject!

    By Blogger Kyahgirl, at 6:17 PM  

  • I'm not too fussy. My only real rule is I generally avoid people who breath through their mouth. It's not a good look.

    By Blogger Huw, at 10:57 AM  

  • This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    By Blogger patroclus, at 6:28 PM  

  • shit, i think i've just met my double. i found your blog from a link on spazzymoto's revenge. like yourself, i am a spinster living in bristol, and i have almost exactly the same taste in men. (hmm. we should probably never go out together, as we'll likely wind up getting into a jello wrestling match over the obvious-choice bloke in the pub.)

    that said, let me ask you this: why do short women always want tall guys?!?!?!? goddammit, i'm 5'11", and every male i know over 6' is dating something 5'4" or under! for fuck's sake woman, leave some for the rest of us!

    By Blogger Chaucer's Bitch, at 9:43 PM  

  • I want to know what patroculs keeps deleting :)

    By Blogger looby, at 2:08 AM  

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