Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Spinster gets defensive

I was back home recently in deepest darkest rainiest Ireland, and met up with my old friends for lunch.

In the olden days when I went home we used to go out and get absolutely rangooned on spectacular quantities of vodka. When we got a bit older, we’d go out for dinner, then get shit-faced. But then dinner turned into just dinner. And now that they’ve all eventually moved back to our home town, we have lunch.

The girls consist of:

Smug Married and Sprogged
Smug Married and Pregnant
Smug Coupled and Renovating
Not Smug (even though she’s attached. See, it can be done)

Over our paninis and coffee the chat turned to an ex-boyfriend of SM&S.

“Oh, he’s still sad and lonely” she told us.

“Just because he’s single doesn’t mean he’s sad and lonely you know” I explained..

“Oh, but he is”…

It got worse. Apparently he went to a wedding recently by himself. Just imagine.

“Well if being a single person at a wedding is so fucking offensive, I don’t know why you bothered inviting me to yours!” I didn’t interject. Coward that I am.

God only knows what they have to say about me when my back’s turned.

Other scarey conversations – as SM&P and I walked down the street later she was blethering on to me about the X-Factor, completely assuming that I actually watched that shite. The X-Factor, for fuck's sake.

“Well, I think you’ll find that I’m usually busy having a life on a Saturday night,” I didn’t respond….


  • What I HATE is the patronizing arm pat followed by the cooing "Oh, don't worry, dear.....you'll find someone."


    By Blogger Sadia, at 8:50 PM  

  • X-Factor encapsulates all that is wrong with British TV...NO Originality, Talentless Crap.

    Rant off...:o)

    Thanks for stopping by my blog earlier Spinsterella.

    By Blogger Aginoth, at 9:40 AM  

  • What is it with paninis? Aren't they just toasted sandwiches at twice the price?

    By Blogger Homer, at 12:30 PM  

  • Hmm... bit like the company I work for new "family friendly" policies which are all well and good but they seem to be coming more and more like "Lets screw the singles" policies.

    By Blogger hen, at 5:25 PM  

  • Yup, paninis are a flat (Italian?) baguette-type thing which do indeed make very nice cheese toasties, which for some reason have completely taken over my home town.

    Now, this does not signify an increasing cosmopolitanism; if you asked for, say, a ciabatta, or focaccia, you would be greeted with slack-jawed incomprehension, confusion and fear. Yet every shitty little caff does paninis.

    My home town (sorry, 'city' since 2000) gives me the screaming heebie-jeebies and if my parents didn't live there I would never go back...

    By Blogger Spinsterella, at 9:52 AM  

  • What does sprogged mean?

    Most of my girlfriends are spinsters as well, so that saves me some aggravation.

    By Blogger yezenia, at 6:57 AM  

  • As a single girl, who honestly is interested in finding someone, just not at any damn cost, I find it irritating to have someone assume that about oneself. I wonder if SM&S's ex isn't Single and Fabulous as opposed to Sad and Lonely.

    I have a russian friend (now married, but definitely not smug) who says that in russia, a woman who is divorced, destitute and a single mom is much preferred over simply not being married. At least the other one was able to get married, because that's what counts. It's sick, really.

    It reminds me of that Sex and the City episode where Carrie announces that she is getting married to herself and signs up at a gift registry because dammit, single people should be rewarded too.

    By Blogger zura, at 8:44 PM  

  • "Sprog" is UK slang for baby.

    So if you run into a heavily pregnant friend, it's only polite to enquire:

    "Jesus Christ, haven't you dropped that sprog yet?"

    Not if they're easily offended though...

    By Blogger Spinsterella, at 5:48 PM  

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