Thursday, October 13, 2005

Glastonbury Guy - A Post Mortem

When Glastonbury Guy went AWOL - finally - properly - I wasn't hugely upset. I didn't even go through the whole thinking of a hundred reasons why he hadn't called. I guess I always knew it wasn't really going anywhere, what with the distance, not to mention his extreme unreliability, and, well, I've been round the block enough times by now, I've got a pretty tough skin...

I did have a massive pang of regret that I wasn't going to get to fuck him again (god, he was good...), but from an emotional point of view, I was fine.

But after you lot reassured me that there's nothing wrong with a bit of cyberstalking, I got on Google...and there he is. Something terribly dull and work related from what I could gather (can't get the damn page open, probably not a bad thing), but none of my other exes have an internet presence at all. Glastonbury Guy was about fifth on the list by the way.... see, I really don't give that much of a fuck...

I don't think I actually mind getting dumped all that much - you win some, you lose some. And I've certainly been ahead on points for a while, it's about time I got a bit of a kick in the teeth.

But when I do get depressed is at times like this. My last, um, encounter, was some time ago now, and I've got absolutely nothing on the horizon. Could I be staring into an abyss of months and months (or maybe even years) of celibacy???


  • Welcome to my world........it's a veritable desert here in Toronto. All the men are either attached or gay. One of the joys of living in the gay capital of the world.

    Lesbianism, anyone?

    By Blogger Cleavers, at 2:50 PM  

  • Yo Cleavers in Toronto!

    I can get my head around that. What exactly would it entail?

    Mail me.

    Roberta Cecilia Swipe

    (p.s. Hi S. - do not go NEAR lesbianism ..... it would just ruin the name of the blog, for one thing...

    p.p.s. it's almost impossible to type "rktzecnu" when you are off your mash on carpet cleaner: please turn off the wdor Vecirfication device!!!

    By Blogger Robert A. Swipe, at 8:10 PM  

  • You want to talk celibacy? My nether regions would shrivel in surprise at the sight of a penis.

    By Blogger yezenia, at 4:35 AM  

  • I only know two lesbians, and they're a couple.

    Carpet cleaner - interesting. Must give that a go some night...

    By Blogger Spinsterella, at 11:13 AM  

  • Spinny,

    I call it Bob's Magic Carpet Ride:

    5 parts Vanish
    2 parts Angusturra Bitters
    1 part lemonade
    Cayenne pepper to taste.

    You'll be spring cleaning the ceiling with your tongue after 4 or 5 pints, I guarantee it! A crateload of this little beauty certainly helped me through my first divorce...and much of the second, for that matter...

    (....although, with hindsight, it may well have contributed some to my genital malformation.. [see previous posts....])

    Love on ya

    p.s.: jeofcus - that ain't a real word, surely??

    By Blogger Robert A. Swipe, at 2:40 PM  

  • >>(can't get the damn page open, probably not a bad thing)<<

    Speaking as a seasoned cyberstalker, I presume you tried clicking on "cache"?

    Mind you, you're not a true cyberstalker till you keep a handy list of people's IP addresses. *Cough*.

    By Blogger patroclus, at 7:15 PM  

  • I am a total technophobe and do all my blogging at work, minimised into a tiny screen that I hope my boss can't see.

    I don't know what cashe and IP addresses are...

    And Bob - I did buy some Vanish six months ago to clean up after my 30th party but as I'm a total slattern it's never gonna happen. Off to buy some Angustora's Bitters...

    By Blogger Spinsterella, at 3:10 PM  

  • Angostorra...so that's how you spell it! I always thought that was a shipping forcast region, but heh....

    A spinster @ 30 1/2? No, no, no Lady! I'm nearly twice that and counting, but old Roberta still raises a salute from the odd sailor now and then! Just keep sending those drunken red wine emails out and one day your prince/ss will come.

    Love on ya,


    p.s. if you're filing under predilections, put me under "marathon lingerie modelling sessions on vanish-based cocktails"...or just put me under....

    p.p.s. ....owqpagx????


    By Blogger Robert A. Swipe, at 3:06 PM  

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