Monday, June 06, 2005

The guy with the deformed penis

It was a dark, dark time in my life. I'd come back from travelling and ended up in Satan's Pit of Hell, in a shitty temp job, I didn't know anyone in the town except my flatmate, who had a boyfriend and so was never around. Yes indeed, I spent a lot of Saturday nights sitting in with a bottle of wine, listening to Elliott Smith and re-reading High Fidelity.

But I met this bloke and he ticked several boxes; cute, clever, with a stupendous record collection (World of Twist!!!, The Blue Aeroplanes!!!). But when we got down to it...oh god... I can't really describe it as I looked away in horror and just let him get on with that end of things. (Now don't fret boys, I'm not usually quite so reticent in that department...). I think it was just that his foreskin was too tight and didn't retract, so, with a hard-on, it all kind of bulged out, oh god, oh god, it was awful....

So I asked him later about circumscision and he said, "oh no, I'm a bit squeamish"

So that was then end of that...


  • That sounds nasty. In my professional spinster days (and boy was I good at it), I had two unfortunate encounters (well many more that were unfortunate, but two because of deformed penis problems). One looked like a roast potato - about as big and sort of straight down one side and rounded down the other. And the other one, I don't know why, reminded me of a piece of dog poo. I took one look and ran. Nasty. I'm happily married now.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:44 PM  

  • omigod does that mean there are many more out there? I may become a nun.

    By Blogger Spinsterella, at 2:53 PM  

  • WE always wanted to be spinsters, but had to settle for being fruity vegetable things.

    We go well with pizzas, though.

    Yours cheerily


    By Blogger The Saturnyne, at 6:29 PM  

  • Oh my, those descriptions have me rolling!

    By Blogger yezenia, at 12:25 PM  

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