Spinsterella

Friday, June 17, 2005

Fuckface

The Setting - Ko Pha Ngan - Thailand

When I met Fuckface I was in the midst of the demise of a fling with a guy called Duane Dibley. Really. (OK, not really. He did have a daft name though).

I perked up though when a foxy Israeli lad staying in my guesthouse came and chatted to me on the beach one day. The whole guesthouse population hung out together for the next week or so, we did the whole Full moon thing, and I forgot clean about Duane (whilst developing seriously carnal intentions towards Fuckface). But I'd said goodbye to him on his last night, sorry that nothing had happened between us, but happy I'd had such a fab time.

Then there was a knock on my door....

ha!

As soon as he got home he emailed me, with more intense decalrations of feelings than I'dever heard from a bloke. Yeah, I fell for it big-time. He was visiting friends in Sydney six months later, so I changed my plans to see him again. Yes, yes, I know. So then, when we met again, after a week of being all smoochey and holding hands, he decided to tell me that not only had he acquired a girlfriend, but that they had just moved in together.

I chucked a girly of biblical proportions (most unusual, professional spinsters are normally very cool characters). I cried for 12 hours straight, not because he'd met someone else, but because of the lies. The most galling thing was, we'd had no time alone up to this point, so I didn't even get a fuck out of it!

T'would never have worked anyhow - he was a trolley-dolly for fuck's sake...

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